Twenty five

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• Agent Carter•

"So you ain't going to do anything else?" I asked.

"I called an ambulance, she's on her way to my clinic, she'll get the best treatment. I did something." She said and kept looking at the road.

"Don't you have questions?"

"I do. Why are you acting so weird? Is it because you saw me naked? Was it your first time? " She asked.

Nice change of subject.

"Not the first time." I said and looked out of the window.

"Then what? You didn't like it?" I turned my head so fast to her that I heard my neck crack.

Is that what she thinks? That I didn't like it.

She couldn't be farther from the truth.

"No." I said and scoffed.

"Oh."

"Fuck, that's not what I mean, the problem is that I liked it, maybe more than I should."

I can't believe I just said that.

"So why the awkwardness?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Because every time I look at you - "

"Yes?"

"I see you naked."

"Oh, oh, okay." She said and giggled.

"So, your mom." I said, I can change the subject too.

"She stopped being my mother a long time ago." She said, the playfulness she had a minute ago is gone.

But I still want to know more, there's not much information about her past. I want to know everything. Why is she so hostile towards this topic? And Ivy's reaction? Or the lack of it.

"What happened?" I asked, she took a deep breath before answering.

"I was sixteen when my mom left, to where I don't have a fucking clue probably to one of her dealer boyfriends, Ivy was still a baby. She didn't care about her or me." She said and parked the car in front of the house.

"Does Ivy knows that?"

"Ivy knows everything. Follow me. " She got out of the car, took the baby from the back seat, and gave it to Alice. She kissed the girls and walked away, I followed.

I knew she was dedicated to Ivy, but seeing her with Liam, Alice, and even Theo, she's so caring and sweet. So motherly. I didn't know what I was expecting inside these walls, maybe a little more chaos. But, no. Everyone is calm and collected, respectful.

I arrested gangsters and other rich people before and they were never like this. We got inside the office and I closed the door, she walked to the little bar in the corner and took two glasses and a bottle of Whiskey.

"I shouldn't be drinking, but..."

"Why?"

"I was shot . Kinda. I'll just skip the painkillers." She said and lightly patted her stomach.

"Then maybe you shouldn't." She sat on the couch and I sat on the one in front of her.

"What about your mother?" She asked out of nowhere.

"I never knew her, she gave me for adoption." I said and took a sip.

"And you never look for her? I mean you work at the FBI I'm sure you would find her in a couple of hours."

"Probably, but if she gave me away it's because she didn't want me."

"Do you really think that? Maybe she was forced? Too young? Didn't have money, there's a lot of possibilities,"

"You took care of your sister at 14. "

"Not everyone has the courage to do half the things I had to do. You know what I think?" She was how filling the second glass.

"What?"

"You have mommy issues." She said, I threw my head back and laughed.

"Sure." I said. She was already getting tipsy.

"I found out recently I like to be called mommy, you can if you want to. No, no don't do it. I'll get more horny." Definitely getting drunk.

"Why didn't you put your mother in a rehab center or something? Why didn't you help her when you had the money?" I asked.

"Let me tell you a couple of things agent Carter, you are too quick to judge. I looked for her when I was 18. "

"Then what happened?"

"I learned one of the most difficult lessons of life. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Let's go back to your mother, I think you should find her. Living in fear is not good for you."

"What fear?"

"Fear of rejection." Third glass.

"I'm not afraid." I said.

"Oh, but you are. That's why you think she gave you up because she didn't want you. You don't even think about the other reasons, you chose to believe that."

"I think we should stop drinking." I said, she sat straight, looked me deep in my eyes.

"What's your secret? Everyone has one secret that no one else knows."

"What's yours?"

"You really want to know? You can't tell anyone." She's such a lightweight.

"I promise."

"I was always a sexual person, it's like another language to me, and let me tell you I'm fluent." She said and laughed. I like to hear her laugh.

"Okay."

"I got pregnant at 19, but I lost the baby. " She whispered.

"I'm sorry." I said and she shrugged.

"Your turn." She said and clapped her hands excitedly.

"You are right."

"About?"

"About me, I'm afraid to look for her. I said for so long that she didn't want me, to prepare myself, if one day I have enough courage to find and if she still doesn't want me it will be easier to accept it." I drank the rest of the whiskey in my glass and looked at her.

She's crying.

"Fuck, don't cry."

What did I do?

"We are so fucked up." She said and then started laughing, and I joined because is so fucking true.

We spent all night drinking and talking, also laughing a lot. I learned that she doesn't have a favorite color, it depends on her mood, she was 16 when she got her first tattoo, I want to see it.

Her favorite thing to eat is cinnamon rolls, but they need to be hot, she says if they are cold is like eating a piece of bread with a spoon of cinnamon in it.

And I told her things about me too. I got to say that the alcohol helped u a lot, I usually don't talk this much. I don't talk about my favorite food or color, I never told anyone that I always wanted a pet, and for sure I never talked about my years in the orphanage.

But I told her everything, and we would've kept talking but she fell asleep and after looking at her like a creep for a few minutes, I followed.

I just hope that I remember everything in a few hours.

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