Just a Witcher 3 fanfic

The party

Geralt: Here are our seats. But why are they here specifically?

Cerys: Because I asked them to be. Wanted to meet the notorious witchers

Geralt: You and I already met. Remember?

Cerys: That was ages ago. Hjalmar and I were children when you last visited our da. And who's your partner in crime?

Geralt: That would be Arivan

Arivan: Good to meet you

Cerys: You should meet your feast mates. Allow me the dubious honor. That's Halbjorn, son of Holger Blackhand. Blueboy Lugos, Madman Lugos's firstborn, and choking down a stockfish over there is Otrygg an Hindar. Everyone, this is Geralt and Arivan

(The men at the table all raise their glasses)

Arivan: Forgive me, but I don't believe we've met. What's your name?

Blueboy: That's Cerys an Craite. Crach, her da, and her brother Hjalmar call her sparrowhawk. A jarl's daughter she is. Fat load of good it does for her

Halbjorn: Cerys is just jealous. For the one who performs the grandest feat will be crowned king

Arivan: That's easy. I mean, Geralt only killed a fucking dragon

Geralt: I don't count, genius

Cerys: Oh please. We all know the feats are a sideshow. Our fathers will choose who will wear the crown. What'd you think they spoke to Crach about?

Halbjorn: You talk like that because you're short of strength and skill. Remember when Hjalmar challenged us to a race up the mount? You didn't stand with us then. As he buried his axe in that stump at the top to mark his victory, you were warming your chicken bones by the fire

Cerys: Had my reasons for not participating. But I woulda won then, just as I'd win now

Hjalmar: (Visible doubt)

Cerys: Alright then. Why don't we repeat the race? I'm willing to challenge any of you, the witchers included. If I beat him to the top, venture to say that'd be a feat, eh? So. You in?

Arivan: Count me in

Geralt: But don't just portal to the top, Arivan

Arivan: Fine. What are the rules?

Cerys: Whoever pulls Hjalmar's axe from the stump at the top of the hill wins. Stray off the path, and you lose. No horses and no magic

Blueboy: And here I was ready to puke from all the boredom! Lets go!

(Yennefer portals everyone to the bottom of the mountain)

Blueboy: We're here. From this spot, you must reach the top of that mount. You'll start when I sound the horn

Cerys: I'm ready. Are you?

Arivan: I guess I'm about to find out

(Blueboy blows the horn, and Arivan and Cerys both take off running full sprint)

(They both start running the trail and climbing up the mountain, obstacle after obstacle)

(Eventually, both Arivan and Cerys see the axe, and quickly look at each and back at the axe other before bolting)

(They both run towards the axe and take a dive forward for it)

(Arivan and Cerys both go rolling, and it ends with Cerys straddling Arivan, with both of them holding the axe)