Alex Carter: A Red Band Society Fanfiction

Palliative Care

"So what's going on here," Dr. McAndrew said, announcing his entrance to the room. 

"I'm fine," Alex protested. 

"She's been cold, losing weight, her vitals are all sorts of messed up," Nurse Jackson interjected, adding another blanket on top of her patient. 

Dr. McAndrew sighed, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "These are the side effects I was afraid of," he muttered. "Have you been following your meal plan?" he asked, turning his attention to Alex. 

"Mostly," she said, guilt written on her face. 

"Alex, you have to. It's no longer a question of if you're hungry, you eat what we give you when you are given it." 

"Okay, I'll try," she said. She seemed eager to listen, but they all knew it was hard; there was a whole unit devoted to eating. 

"What about the body temp?" Nurse Jackson cut in, not satisfied. 

Dr. McAndrew sighed. "So, the cancer has clearly spread to the hypothalamus. All we can do is monitor her symptoms as they come up, which means we need to increase her vitals to taken at least three times a day." 

Alex groaned in annoyance. "Hey," Nurse Jackson said firmly. "We do what we gotta do." 

That shut Alex up, and she nodded quickly. Secretly, a part of her loved the fact that these people who used to be strangers had grown to care about her immensely. She hadn't had that in a long time. 

"In the meantime, I'll order blood work and a neuro exam so we can get a better idea of what's going on." As Dr. McAndrew left the room, Nurse Jackson followed him into the hallway. 

"What exactly are we looking at here Doc," Nurse Jackson asked, her voice low. She had shut the door behind her and began walking him further down the hallway. 

"What do you mean," Dr. McAndrew said, confused. "You've read her charts." Dr. McAndrew often got very invested in his work, it was why he did so well for so long. But as a result, he could lose sight of the patient and began seeing only their circumstances instead. 

Nurse Jackson sighed. "I mean does she know of her prognosis?" 

"She knows, and I'll update her after these tests." 

Nurse Jackson fought the urge to roll her eyes. "She's just a kid, and what about palliative care?" 

Dr. McAndrew began to get frustrated. The truth was, he invested himself so deeply in the treatment because he couldn't deal with the emotions that came alongside his work. "Look around you, they're all 'just kids'. It's what we do here."

"You need to make sure she's getting the psychological help she needs."

"She's fine, she seems fine." 

"Just because someone acts fine doesn't mean they are," Nurse Jackson said pointedly. 

Dr. McAndrew knew she was also referring to him, and how purposefully emotionally distant he was getting. "Fine, I'll set her up with a therapist." 

Nurse Jackson nodded, and as he began to walk away, she added, "Be gentle." 

Returning to Alex's room, she saw her sitting up in her bed, bundled up in her blankets and sweater, writing in a journal. "You alright?" the nurse asked, hesitantly. 

Alex had never heard such a tone in Nurse Jackson's voice. It was so...motherly. She nodded, refusing to look up from what she was writing. 

"Alex," Nurse Jackson said firmly, "look at me." 

The girl looked up from the bed and took in the look on her nurse's face. "I'm okay, really." 

"No one in your situation is 'okay', or 'fine', but if you don't want to talk about it, that's your choice. Just know you always can." 

"Got it," Alex said. 

Nurse Jackson left the room and sighed. Clearly Alex would handle things in her own way, in her own time. 

Little did Nurse Jackson know, that for the most part, Alex mostly did have a handle on things. She had been dealing with her disease's progression for a little over a year now and had just recently passed her old "death date". A little over a year ago, her first doctor had given her a year to live, and here she was, alive, despite it all. When you spend your days preparing for a death that never comes, every extra day is one to treasure, not worry through. That didn't mean things didn't get to her every once in a while, she was still human. But the reason she seemed to not care was because she'd had that same conversation with Dr. McAndrew countless of times with countless doctors as her cancer progressed. She wasn't dead yet, and that meant she had things left to do.