See You Around~ Grester (completed)

Chapter Fifty-One

Chester's POV

My heart was pounding faster than ever before, my hands uncontrollably shaking and my vision was blurred through the tears of the unknown and fear which overtook me.

I rang the ambulance without hesitation; assuming the worst and knowing hospital was where she needed to be. I didn't want to take her though, I didn't want our happiness to be ridden from us once again.

This was not meant to happen, this was not what I had been told. I was deceived, tricked by the illusion that everything was okay but I guessed I had heard a lie. I had celebrated, danced and smiled when the news that all was well travelled through my ears; a few days ago hope surrounded me.

Grace's eyes opened slightly as the sirens from outside filled the atmosphere. I held her hand in mine, I tried not to think of the way her hand felt knowing if I lived up to the realisation of how weak and small it felt then I would be accepting her illness. And I didn't believe this could happen.

She was conscious now- staring at me worriedly with big yet sunken eyes. I could feel her slipping in and out of reality, I could feel myself loosing her.

"It's gonna be okay." I attempted to whisper assuringly but it came out in a shaken desperate tone. Just like it had so many times before, when we were in the same position.

Grace squeezed my hand as best as she could and took a deep breath attempting to speak. Her words were barely audible, weak and lifeless.

"They said- they said it had gone." Her chest rose as she spoke; withdrawing every ounce of breath she could manage and tears fell softly down her cheeks.

She was correct; they did say it had gone. They said she would get better and that we wouldn't have to hear from the hospital again. They said everything was okay. I guess not.

Because if everything was okay then why is my wife in the back of an ambulance struggling for breath? If everything was meant to get better then why are we in hospital and not enjoying our honeymoon? If it had gone then why are we here- why, why am I afraid to loose Grace one final time?

I followed her into the hospital room, and they slowly lifted her up onto a bed. So many times before had I seen her lay in this position but never had I felt this cynical about the future. Never before had I contemplated my future without Grace.

They shone a light into her eyes and tested her bloods- a routine I had become so uncomfortably familiar with. However when I told them about Grace's cancer and how apparently she was cured they didn't do anything more, their faces didn't become suddenly concerned, they almost didn't seem to care.

"We'll be back to check on her soon. It's okay Mr See, she's going to be okay." The nurse smiled as she left and I wanted to run up to her, I wanted to scream that this wasn't okay- that this wasn't alright. That this was my wife's life and it couldn't be overlooked with optimism.

Grace had fallen asleep and I sat by her bed, interlocking my fingers in hers. There was suddenly a thousand things I needed to say.

"If this is the last time Grace, if this is the last bed you'll sleep in then I want you to know that I'm right here. That this hospital may not be home, it may not have Tilly running around or cars driving past, you may not wake up to me by your side in the morning but that doesn't matter right?"  My hands shook under hers and I was suddenly conscious that she could hear every syllable I was pronouncing.

"You're home to me anyway, you're what makes me feel like I belong. Not some fancy building with designer interior furnishings, not the most immaculate back yard with flowers sprouting in organised directions. It's you which makes me feel at home and I owe a thank you. In fact; I owe you a thousand thank you's but you know why already."  If she was awake her eyes remained closed and so I carried on, knowing there was something I had to say.

"But my biggest thank you, the one I don't think you don't give yourself credit for is strength. Thank you for being strong Grace, thank you for keeping on fighting when you could've gone. I don't know what I would, could, do without you. You die I die right? That's how it works yeah? I don't want to live without you Grace." The tears were cutting my voice off, and my strained laugh was exactly that, strained.

"And I don't think you'll have to." The nurse said, approaching myself and Grace.