The New Girl | Draco Malfoy

Reject Affection / Twenty - Six

"Woah!" both Theo and Blaise yelp, putting their hands in the air.

"Save it for another bet, Malfoy," I hiss, not looking at him, "but now piss off and leave me be." I state rolling my eyes. "Let's go, girls."

They lower their wands slowly and gave him one last glares before Pansy and Daphne follow upstairs with me while Marie left, pushing Malfoy by her shoulder, leaving the boys in the common room, defeated.

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DRACO'S POV

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As soon as the girls went up and Moon knocking the air out of my lung, I hear Theo chuckles which made me turn to him in anger.

"Girls are very protective of their best friends, huh?" as he shakes his head.

I grab a hold of his collar, dropping everything in hand and Blaise in an instant cast a protection spell, knocking me off my feet with force but I get back up quickly.

"Hey! It's not my fault that you were afraid to accept the fact that you fancies her." Theo snaps.

"If you just give me the 10 galleons you own and say you lose or just call off the bet in the first place and confess, this won't even happen in the first place." he went on, "We warned you multiple times to just call off the bet but you didn't so don't patronize me for something you were scared to do, Malfoy! It's not my fault that you reject affection every time you have it." he shouts, redoing his collar before walking past me and going up to the boy's dormitory.

He's right... I always do that. I just never felt comfortable with it and act like I'm in charge with everything but that's how I was taught to be. To be higher than others, to reject emotions, feelings and never disobey father.

"Emotions make you weak."

That's what he used to tell me when I cry as a kid. 

I guess all this time, he was right. Even if it's hard for me to accept that he is but emotions do make you weak. From now on, I don't need to pretend to be nice to her anymore. The deed is done and I did it perfectly even if it makes me feel guilty.

"Come on, let's go and apologize to Theo." Blaise says, breaking my thoughts, "We can talk to the girls tomorrow."

"Yeah... alright." I mutter, going up to my dorm, following him.

As I open the door, I see that Theo had already showered and about to go to sleep. When he sees me, he rolls his eyes and turn to his left so he doesn't face me anymore. 

I walk over to his bed and sit down on the foot of it as I clear my throat.

"I- uhh.. sorry about earlier, Theo. I didn't mean to punch you." I ponder, "I know I'm a git sometimes but-"

"Well, all the time." he cuts in.

I chuckle before continuing, "Alright, all the time but this time I didn't mean it, alright? I was just angry at myself, that's all. I didn't mean to lash out on you, mate." I pat his back. "I'm sorry."

He looks at me after a few seconds, "Alright." he half smiles, "But don't think about punching me again next time, alright?" he warns, slapping the back of my head.

"Alright, alright." I chuckle, rubbing my head. "Well now I'm gonna go to bed so see you tomorrow."

I turn around slowly to see Blaise leaning against his bed poster, looking at us, grinning.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"I have been here the whole time, twat." he chuckles, shaking his head. "You didn't expect me to go to sleep and not enjoy this shit show?" he laughs and I can hear Theo laughing quietly.

I throw a pillow at him but he caught it with one hand as he chuckles.

"Don't think about doing that, Malfoy. I'm too tired to play pillow fight now." he says, throwing the pillow back to me, "Well goodnight. I'm gonna go change." he yawns as he goes into the bathroom.

"Goodnight." 

I sigh as I unbutton my shirt and dress pants, pooling them beside my bed. I'm just gonna shower tomorrow. I have too much thoughts in my head that I'm afraid that it might explode in the bathroom. 

Blaise came out, full on pajamas before he flicks his wand, turning the lights off. 

I couldn't sleep the whole night even if I tried. My mind kept drifting off to Hela, thinking what she might be doing right now. Thinking what she might be feeling right now. Thinking if she had her hand healed. Recalling her words that she spat at me in the hall.

"Making a girl with trust issues who had faith in you that you would actually change, falls in love with you that easy! But did you ever stop to think how I feel?"

The sound of her voice breaking makes me more guiltier than ever, making me sick to my stomach.

Of course, I did.

"And no, I can't and will never forgive you."

That stings my chest and suddenly I remember that bruise on my wrist. 

I slowly remove the cover on my body and the cold air of the room instantly hits my body. I hurriedly open my cupboard and took one of my silk green pajamas and quietly runs into the bathroom, shutting the door slowly.

I put on my pajamas quickly, not wanting to freeze anymore. I observe the bruise and see that the bruise has darken very badly. I sigh as I go back into the room and get my wand. I mutter some indications to fade it gone.

"And I'm hope you're proud of your broken and weak masculinity, Malfoy." 

I lean down on the sink and look at my reflection in the mirror to see that I also had cried. Dried tears can be seen on my cheek and I immediately open the faucet and splash warm water on my face.  

Maybe they were right all this time. Maybe I fancy her. Maybe I might even love her but I don't reckon, I want to go that far off right now. I don't think I can handle that for now.

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damn depression really makes such difference to my writings

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