Holding On | Bucky Barnes

28 | Friday, January 28th

My stomach churns as I remember the panicked expression on his face when I took control of him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I whisper. "Once it started, I knew what was happening. I remembered. And I had to stop myself. I'm sorry."

Bucky lets out a shaky breath and nods. "Please don't ever make me do that again. Please."

A tear slips down my cheek. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know what else to do. I knew I would hurt you—I didn't want to hurt you."

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest, one hand cradling the back of my head and the other tracing shapes across the top of my spine. "I know doll. But—I... Just don't ever make me do that again."

"Never again," I nod.

He presses a kiss to the top of my head before releasing me and stepping back. "Let's get you upstairs..." he says gently, wrapping an arm around my waist to steady me. That's when the ache across my body registers. It feels like I've been run over by a truck, and all I want right now is to go to sleep.

But I need to make sure everyone is okay.

I need to see them.

He guides me out of the cell and through the halls before heading up the stairs.

Slowly, I begin remembering everything that happened. What Holden said. What Ness said. My heart breaks as I think about the lies and manipulation. How the entire time she was trying to make my life worse, not better.

We reach the common area and my stomach sinks as I see everyone scattered around the conference table and kitchen, bruised and bandaged.

"Oh God," I whisper, freezing in the entrance.

"You're awake," Nat breaths, pushing her elbows off the island.

Tears well in my eyes as I look at them all and remember what I did. "I'm so sorry," I whisper, pressing a shaky hand to my mouth.

"Hey, it's okay," Steve shakes his head. "We knew it wasn't you."

"No, I hurt you all. It's not okay."

My eyes land on Fury and my heart sinks.

He's going to send me away.

Good.

But then I have to leave everyone.

Leave Bucky.

If it keeps them safe, that's what I'll do.

"Y/N, I'm glad to see you're okay," Fury nods. "I'm sure you have questions..."

Is that all he has to say?

No yelling?

No arrest?

I shake my head a little as if to clear my thoughts. "What happened to Holden and Ness? What happened after I got knocked out?"

"Sorry about that," Bruce mutters, a guilty look on his face.

"It was the least I deserved," I mumble.

"It wasn't your fault, Y/N," Bucky shakes his head.

"It doesn't matter... What happened?"

"When we got locked in the chamber, I left to find the control room," Vision explains. "I wasn't able to find it, so I went to get Director Fury."

"We came as quickly as we could, but we weren't able to get the door open. Vision let us know everyone was alright inside and he went looking for the control room again. Once we got everyone out, we transferred Holden and Alice to a holding facility where they're waiting to be interrogated."