It's been four months since I got out of the facility.
'Don't position your life in reference to the facility,' Dr. Renner's words echo in my mind.
That's what he told me during our first session. That there are so many other things I could use as temporal markers. That I don't need to use a period of trauma to define my time.
How should I position my life instead?
Maybe: a year and eleven months since my parents died.
Or: a year and six months since I was brought to stay with the Avengers.
Or: a year and 5 months since I was taken.
How about, it's December.
December 14th.
The air in front of me is fogged by my breath as I hurry up from the subway and to the edge of the street.
Although I've gotten back to training, yoga became part of my daily routine, so I started coming to a studio in the city in October. Renner encouraged me to find ways to get out of the house and keep myself occupied, so this seemed like a good option.
I avoid a dark-looking puddle as I cross the street and slip into the studio's warm foyer, walking to the front desk while searching through my bag with stiff fingers. I finally find my membership card and scan it, heading into the locker room while slipping the card back into my bag.
"Morning," I greet the older woman across the room.
"Morning," she smiles, going back to hanging her black purse on a hook.
I unlock my locker and drop my bag and yoga mat to the bench behind me before shrugging my jacket off. The woman pushes the door open and disappears into the studio, letting the sound of Jenna's nature playlist seep into the room before the door slowly shuts, leaving me in silence again. After switching my shoes, I hang my bag and shut the locker, tucking my mat under my arm before heading into the studio. The rest of the class is already inside, stretching and chatting quietly as I make my way to my usual spot at the back, greeting a few familiar faces as I pass. When I settle, I grab my ankles and stretch forward, shutting my eyes and taking a few deep breaths. I begin to feel my shoulders relax and the knot in my stomach unfurl as my focus turns to my body.
"Morning everyone," Jenna greets gently from the front of the room. "We'll start in a few minutes. Our affirmation for today is 'I choose to surround myself with positive people who will support me and my growth.' Think about what that means for you before we begin."
I run the phrase through my mind a few times.
The team is my support system.
They've been amazing since I met them.
I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be around...
I press my chest further against my legs and let my mind wander to the team.
"Um, hi," I hear from my right. I blink and look up to see a young woman with her blond hair pulled into a messy bun. "Is anyone going to be sitting here? It's my first time and I don't want to take anyone's spot."
"Oh, no, no one's sitting there, feel free," I smile gently.
"Thanks, I'm Ness," she greets, laying her mat down beside mine.
"I'm Y/N. Is this your first time in this class or at the studio?"
"The studio. I've been doing yoga at home, but I've been wanting to try classes because I have no idea if I'm doing anything right," she chuckles.
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Holding On | Bucky Barnes
FanfictionIt's been two months since Y/N returned to the Compound, but despite her best efforts, she can't seem to escape her trauma. Nightmares haunt her at night, while memories stalk her during the day; a never-ending cycle that she hopes she can smile her...
