Holding On | Bucky Barnes

25 | Friday, January 28th

Bucky

"I had help. A mole if you will. To listen to you. To give you advice. But also, to slowly tear you down from the inside. To make you suffer without you realizing. And I must say, the job was done impeccably. I'll give you one chance to guess who it was."

"Renner," I hear Y/N say quietly and a spark of anger goes through me.

I trusted him.

He helped me.

And he's been working for Hydra the entire time?

She tried to tell me.

And I ignored her.

Holden's laugh echoes around the chamber. "I was told you were smart," he says.

What?

"I guess she did a better job than I thought."

She?

"How about you introduce yourself?"

"Hey, girl."

"No fucking way," I bite out.

Ness.

It was fucking Ness.

"Ness?" Y/N asks, voice cracking.

"Anesstia is actually my middle name. You can call me Alice."

"W-why would you... I thought..."

"Don't take it personally. You were a means to an end. Hydra needed you back, I wanted to keep my job, and this way, we could determine how well your conditioning held up after a few months without attention."

"So, you created an elaborate scheme, to what? Get data?" Y/N's voice is thick, and it takes everything in me not to try and break through the door again.

"More than that. You were too valuable to lose. The possibilities that you offered were unmatched by regular super soldiers. Like the Winter Soldier, you could be used to influence what happens in the world. Unfortunately, you were no longer complicit. You still had the groundworks, but you needed... breaking. A broken spirit makes control easier. And for that, you needed to trust me. Not suspect that I was the one orchestrating."

"How was anything you did to break me? You were my friend. You... How did that break me?" she asks, voice stronger now.

That's right.

You're strong.

"Enemies stab you in the back. Friends stab you in the front. I can imagine which is worse... But the majority of the work happened behind the scenes. You have no idea the extent that I controlled what happened in your life—"

"You don't control shit."

"Really? Should I start from the beginning? Let's see. It was only a few weeks after you got home that I began telling people about The Hybrid—a poor girl who had been taken by Hydra and brainwashed just like her heartthrob boyfriend. She escaped, but now Hydra was after her again, and willing to pay. Funny how a hundred thousand gets turned to a hundred million when the message is passed along. Like broken telephone..."

"That was before she even met—" Wanda says quietly before being cut off.

"It took a few weeks after you reemerged in society, but I finally recognized the pattern in your schedule. Tuesdays and Thursdays you went to the city for yoga, art class, and lab work. Friday's, you went to therapy. The rest of your time was spent at the Compound. Never hanging out with friends—so that was my in. Be the friend you didn't have. You were a loner, so I didn't think flattery would be your thing. No, you wanted a deeper connection. Someone who you could talk to and who would give you advice, but not always what you wanted to hear. You needed someone real, not a kiss-ass. But really, that's exactly what I was doing. Playing you exactly how you needed to be played...