panic attack (penny ☁️)

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Its 2am and the thunder struck so loud it shook my house. I looked at my phone, Penny responded but I don't know how to reply.

P:oh no its fine. Thank you anyway.

I apologized for not being able to make it to the bath house the night before. Shane was hurt in the forest and I took him to Harvey. I couldn't leave him. I kept repeating what he told me. He wanted to end it. But....I felt selfish...I didnt want to watch him or anyone die. I was scared. I told him jas would miss him. He got mad but agreed. Penny hasn't made eye contact with me and Shane has been distant since the incident.

The storm ended and the morning came with a rainbow. Penny was at my door with some home cooked food. So it was burnt gunk in a to-go container.

Penny:hey. Got this for you. Well...made it.
Me:aw thanks. Hey wanna come in? I'm making coffee and I can make you tea if you'd like.
Penny:oh that sounds nice thank you.

We sat at the table and drank while I tried to hide her food in my fridge pretending like I wasn't gonna throw it out. When I looked back I saw her picking her finger. She does that when she's anxious so I asked her what she was thinking about. Instead of responding she smiled and put her hand away.

Penny:so hows Shane
Me:oh...don't know he kinda distanced himself.
Penny:huh.

She started again.

*pennys pov get ready for the panic attacks*

Huh....huh. so they definitely confessed how they felt for Shane and are lying about what was going on. Ugh they are just staring at me....I stayed up half the night re reading our texts and I still feel dumb. I wanted to tell them what was wrong I mean they are my best friend. They helped me and mom with so much....but...its not possible. They handed me a cup of jasmine tea and sat across from me with their adorable soft smile that always put me at ease. They talked to me about the storm and suddenly my heart stopped as they asked to re schedule our "date" at the bath house.

Me:I just...I really want to...look if you don't want to I understand but this time I'll wait for you.
Penny:...what if I don't show?
Me:....then you're still my best friend but ill need a few days to talk to you again.

We stayed silent for a little. They looked a little hurt at my question, we finished our drinks and y/n got up to change into their farm clothes so I started to leave. Only to see shane standing at the door ready to knock.

Shane:oh morning Penny. How are you?
Penny:f...fine. you?
Shane:...alot better thanks to y/n. Are they...
Penny:yeah come on in.

I let him in and y/n walked out of their room in their overalls.

*shanes pov*

Fuck why is Penny here? Oh right they probably started dating. Either way I just needed to thank them, if it wasn't for them I dont think I'd be here.

Shane:oh morning Penny. How are you?
Penny:f...fine. you?
Shane:...alot better thanks to y/n. Are they...
Penny:yeah come on in.

She walked me in where the coffee was just made and there were 2 cups in the sink. Soon y/n came out if their room in their overalls with a big smile on their face. Their smile really did always make me happy.

Y/n:shane! Oh my yoba are you ok? What happened?
Penny: i gotta...I'll...bye
Y/n:bye Penny. I hope ill see you later.

Penny left awkwardly and y/n and I ended up talking for a few hours. I spent most of the day helping them on their farm. They told me about what happened with Penny and how they are hoping to make it up to her tonight. We talked more, it was almost 8pm and y/n headed to the bathhouse.

*y/n pov*

I wanted in the bath for a while. It was almost 12am when I realized she wasn't coming. I went back to the changing room and headed out. It was 1am when I got back home to see Penny at my door step.

Penny:h..hey!
Me:Penny?
Penny:i wanted to go to the bath house but...I was scared you forgot so I came here instead thinking you were home with Shane.
Me:pen, Shane went home at like 8pm. We did farm work together but he's my friend. Thats it.
Penny:like how im your friend?
Me:look, I know you have terrible anxiety.

I sat down next to her and grabbed the hand she was picking at. She refused to look at me.

Me:pen, I like you more than a friend. I kinda thought that was obvious with the bouquet I bought you and how I always want to do stuff with only you. And the fact that I do and have done everything I could to make your life better because...it sounds dumb but even if you don't wanna be with me I want to make sure you're happy. I..I love you. Alot.
Penny:i..I love you too. I'm just nervous that you'll find someone you don't have to constantly reassure
Me:I will happily tell you every day and every chance I can to tell you how much I care about you.

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