My Beloved Loki

Drunken Confessions

I quickly wipe the tear off my face in order to have some closure. I want to hide my pain. The wounds too deep, and too painful to show. I try to focus on my book and forget about the past for a while. I finally get into my book, like, really into my book. Then a soft knock at the door. I don't want to be around living things at the moment.
"Go away Loki!" I yell. The knocking persists.
"Loki, I said go away! I want to be left alone!" I don't care if I'm rude, it's what I want. He just knocks louder.
"Why do you care anyways?!" I yell at the door. The knocking stops.
"I don't know." Comes his reply. Ummmmmm......what?
"You don't know?" I ask sarcastically.
"No, I don't. I should hate you for foiling my plans, which in a way I do, but in others I don't."
"What's that supposed to mean? you are extremely angry with me and want to kill me, yet at some times you feel the opposite?" That's what I feel.
"Exactly."
"Oh. Well I still want to be left alone."
"Why?"
"To forget for a while. To not feel like a monster, for a little bit." The doorknob turns and he tries to push the door open but it won't budge because my heat dresser is blocking it.
"Let me in." His voice extremely commanding.
"No."
"I said let me in. Do not defy me mortal." He says darkly.
"Is that supposed to sound impressive or threatening?" I ask mockingly.
"Yes. Now open this door before I-"
"Before you what?"
"Break it down."
"If you do I'm making you fix it." A growl from behind the door.
"Why do you want in my room so badly anyways? It's not like you actually care." I spit at him. Why do all our conversations turn sour?
"You're right. I don't really care about petty mortal emotions."
"Then why do you act like it? You are not manipulating me. I won't have you killing any more people. I have a job to do. And I shall stick to it."
"You are smarter than I thought."
"People say that a lot."
"I bet they do." He says mischievously.
"And if you don't care, why don't you leave me alone?"
"Because it's more fun to annoy you. Plus I'm a bit bored."
"Then watch TV. Read. Whatever, just leave me alone." I'm getting very agitated now. Suddenly, Loki appears right in front of my face, laying across my bed, his arm across my hips and propping himself up on the other side of me, his face inches from mine. Meanwhile my insides are going haywire.
"No." He whispers darkly with an evil grin. I roll my eyes and try to shrug off the fact that he has this effect on me.
"What do you want?"
"Read to me."
"What?"
"Read to me."
"Why?"
"I told you, I'm bored. Now read to me." He gets up off my body and lays back against the pillows on my bed right next to me. He crosses his arms over his chest and his legs over each other. I let out a silent breath that I didn't know I was holding.
"Fine." I breath out to cover it up. I dog ear the page I'm on and flip back to the first page.
"The villagers of Little Hangleron still called it "the Riddle House," even though it had been many years since the Riddle family had lived there. It stood on a hill overlooking the village, some of its windows boarded, tiles missing from its roof, and ivy spreading unchecked over its face. Once a fine-looking manor, and easily the largest and grandest building for miles around, the Riddle House was now damp, derelict, and unoccupied." I get the first paragraph over with before both of us hear a crash in the kitchen. Both of our heads snap to the door and we teleport out into the hallway. We look at each other strange, considering we did the same things at the same time. I start quietly sneaking down the hallway and hear another metallic crash. I stop and listen to see if I can hear voices. I don't realize that Loki had followed me down here and we end up colliding. Thanks to my slight clumsiness, I start to fall. He wraps a strong arm a found my waist and pulls me into his chest. I feel his chest against my back and his arm wrapped around me and I feel strangely safe. As soon as my balance is gained, he lets me go though. Within those few seconds, my insides have gone insane. What is he doing to me? I don't like him, so what is it? At least he let me go instead of holding me there. But why would he want to anyways? We hate each other, right? Urgh I'm so confused! I peek around the corner, the same way I did with Loki earlier. With invisibility. I see Chase. With extremely off perception. And destroying my kitchen for an unknown reason. I can't get inside his head because there's too much alcohol in him. I make myself visible and step out, but motion Loki to stay hidden. After their little stare-down, I don't know what Chase will do when he's drunk if they are already at each other's throats. I clear my throat and Chase awkwardly turns around from trying to pick up all the pots and pans strewn all over the floor. He smiles and waves while almost falling over, but catching himself on the island. I giggle at him as put my hand over my mouth.
"Hey babe." He happily slurs. I stop laughing.
"Babe?" I ask.
"Yes of course!" I walk up to him, put his arm around my shoulder, and help him over to the futon. He's having issues with standing.
"Thanks baby."
"Stop calling me that." I growl. I know he's drunk and he doesn't know what he's saying, but I can't help but get mad. He knows we are and forever will be strictly friends. I made that very clear when we first became friends. He has no right to call me babe. Or any of those other names. He knows I don't see him that way and he promised that he wouldn't even consider making a move. And now I'm angry. A drunk man is the most honest.
"What? You don't like that hon?"
"No. I don't." I say through barred teeth. I cross my arms over my chest to try and hide the blue glow coming from them. Chase grabs my waist and forcefully pulls me into his lap. His hot, smelly breath is coating my neck and making me sick. I love him to peices, but this is way beyond acceptable. He wraps his arms around my waist in a grip stronger than iron. I'm too in shock to shove him off me. My friends still don't know I have powers so I can't use my strength against him. I don't want them to think I'm a freak and leave me, so I've never told them. The only thing that snaps me out of my shock is when Chase starts kissing my neck and trying to take my shirt off. I shove his hands off me and slap him in the face. I try to get up, but he pulls me back down. His thumbs brush under the hem of the waist on my pants. I've had more than enough of this. I elbow him hard in the stomach and he lets me go while crying out in pain. By now, Loki has realized what's going on and is standing next to me, pulling me away from a crazed Chase by my shoulders. Chase looks at us and I can see the thought in his features.
"No Chase, that's not why I rejected you."
"Then what?! I've loved you since I met you! Have you ever shown that back?! No! You chose Shane instead! You never loved me! You still don't!" He yells, voice dripping with venom.
"No Chase. I've always loved you. Just never in that way. I love you as a friend, definitely nothing more, and definitely nothing less." I say, as calmly as I can. What he said to me is just another blow to my wounds.
"Do you find me too disgusting to love in that way then?!"
"No. I see you as a brother. It's weird for me to date my brother. I find you everything but disgusting, repulsive, nasty, and all words related to them. You are like my brother." Chase gets up and Loki steps in front of me.
"Will I never be good enough?!"
"Is being like a brother not good enough?! A brotherly bond is the strongest anyone can have with another person! Is that not good enough?!"
"No! I don't want to be your brother! I don't want to be like your brother!" I've never seen him get this angry before. It hurts that he's this angry because of me.
"Leave her alone." Loki says dangerously.
"What's that monster?" Chase says and mockingly sticks his ear out to Loki.
"I said LEAVE HER ALONE!" Loki yells angrily and punches Chase square in the face, knocking him to the ground. I'm too shocked and stunned to do or say anything. Chase sits up with a murderous expression on his face. He menacingly runs the side of his face before staggering to his feet in his drunken state. Chase swings at Loki, but misses because of bad perception. Chase tries again and Loki ducks, easily dodging it. Loki punches Chase I'm the stomach and Chase doubles over in pain, then falls on the floor because he has terrible balance right now. Loki picks Chase up by the shirt collar and drags him towards the door. Loki whips the door open and throws Chase out. Chase tries to come back in, but Loki slams the door in his face and locks it. Then he touches the doorknob and mutters that strange language under his breath, putting a spell on the door so no one can get in.
"I'm confused." Loki tenses up, but doesn't turn around.
"Why?" He spits.
"You hate me, yet you just saved me. Why?"
"I don't know. I saw him doing those things to you and saying those thugs to you and I got angry." Loki's fists clench up and turn white. Which is strange to see on an already pale person.
"Well, thank you." I say awkwardly before teleporting back into my room on my bed. I pick my book up and start reading from where I left off before Loki started bothering me. Loki appears standing next to me. I don't even flinch or look up.
"Yes?"
"Are you alright?"
"Of course. He didn't hit me. Just angered me, made me upset, and disappointed me. But I'm fine." I say without emotion.
"So then you are not?"
"Depends."
"On?"
"What I'm thinking about and what kind of dilemma I just got out of or am currently in."
"I'm talking about right here, right now, are you alright?" I unceremoniously slap the book down on my legs.
"No."
"How so?"
"I'm angry, upset, disapointed, and confused."
"All because of him?"
"Some. But not all." I put the book to the side on my bed and pull my knees to my chest and bury my face in my knees.
"What's the rest?"
"Can't tell you."
"Why?"
"Because some of it I don't have an answer for, and some of it hurts too much." He puts his cool hand on my arm and rubs it reassuringly. I feel him sit on the bed.
"Why are you so nice to me?" I ask.
"I could be asking you the same thing."
"I'm serious. Why? I played a part in foiling your plans of world domination, you should despise me. But you don't. At least a part of you doesn't. And I want to know why." He sighs.
"I know you have the capability to kill me, and I don't want that. But I can also see you care, and want to help me." I hear his unspoken words. He knows he need it.
"Do you mean you wish to be friends?"
"Possibly." I can't help but look up and give him a small smile. He returns it. He walks around the bed and crawls next to me. He hands me my book and I take it.
"Now, read me a story, mortal." I smile and open to page one again and start reading. Maybe he's not as bad as I thought.