Animal

33

HOPE DE GUZMAN

Umuwi ako sa bahay, expecting Faith to be there, but she didn't show up.

I went to my room and grabbed my extra phone. I tried to contact her pero hindi niya sinasagot. Tinadtad ko siya ng message, hindi dapat matapos doon ang usapan namin.

I have to clear my side too, she's too young to understand things. Sa paglaki niya ay maiintindihan niyang hindi lang atensyon ang kailangan para mabuhay.

But I guess I did something wrong too. I brushed my hair up and bit my lower lip harshly. Bakit ba hindi umaayon ang lahat sa gusto kong mangyari?

Sa lahat ng taong involved sa akin, parang palaging lumalabas na ako parati ang may nagawang masama. Nakakasawang magsorry sa bagay na hindi ko lubos maintindihan kung kasalanan ko ba talaga.

I fell on the ground in so much exhaustion. Bumabaliktad ang sikmura ko sa sobrang lala ng mga nangyayari.

I wasn't paying attention, nakita ko nalang ang sarili kong tinatawagan ang isang number. I immediately hang up before he could answer it. I should not let Woozi be involved with this.

Pero napapikit nalang ako nang mariin nang siya na mismo ang tumawag sa'kin pabalik. I stood up and put my phone on the bed side table. Umupo muli ako sa sahig, hinintay na mapagod si Woozi at tumigil na siya sa pagtawag.

I pulled my hair in so much frustration. I can feel my tears falling again. Pero napatakip ako ng tainga nang makarinig ako ng malakas na pagsabog.

I looked back at my room's door. And then I heard another loud sound. Nakita ko kung paano nasira ang door knob ko. I moved farther after seeing a hand trying to unlock my door.

My phone stopped ringing. I hid my face on my knees and started crying. My anxiety rose after hearing my phone ringing again, together with the sound of my door creaking open.

"Woozi?" I got goosebumps as I heard his husky cold voice.

Inipit ko ang magkakapit kong mga pasmadong kamay sa aking paa. I was shaking so much in fear.

He threw my phone on the ground, and then I heard another shot. Nang silipin ko ang phone ko sa sahig ay may naka-attach na ritong bala ng baril.

"It's my fault," I shivered after feeling him sitting beside me.

Nang i-angat ko ang tingin ko sa kaniya ay nakita kong pinapaikot niya ang kaniyang baril gamit ang mga daliri niya. I looked down again, praying that he would shoot me mercilessly.

Ayaw ko na.

"I made myself fall for an independent woman and now I have to deal with her stubbornness," he chuckled.

"Nadisappoint ka 'di ba?" I flinched as I felt his fingers playing with the strands of my hair.

"Hindi umayon ang takbo ng mundo sa gusto mo," he continued.

"It's your story but it seems like someone's writing it for you,"

His words hit me again. I can feel my eyes producing more tears to flow, "Babe, stop being like this. It's time for you to think about yourself,"

I looked up and stare at him desperately "Patayin mo na ako,"

"I am thinking about myself right now. I won't be able to handle it if this will last longer. Iniisip ko na ang sarili ko, Choi Seungcheol. Hindi ko 'to kaya," umayos ako ng upo at humarap sa kaniya.

"Think about your own happiness," He told me.

"Being gone, that would be my happiness. Choi Seungcheol, please," I tried to snatch his gun but he held it tighter.

He's a killer pero bakit parang hirap na hirap siyang barilin ako nang mabilisan? Bakit ingat na ingat siya as if naman hindi niya pa ako nasample-an ng pagiging sharp shooter niya?

"Think about me," bakit napunta na naman sa kaniya!?

"Think about all those struggles you overcame," He added.

"I am with you," he  held my shoulders. His eyes went soft again, I looked down to avoid his stares.

"Those years of your sorrow, you haven't endured it alone. I am with you,"

I get what he means, he'd been rooting for me. As an obsessed stalker, he had seen all my hidden pain, of course. He had observed every inch of me at kasama na roon ang bad sides. But he still chose to stay at my back.

If I only knew that I was being watched, I should've hide my true self more.

"I might not be the source of your happiness now, but damn, I'm trying," he nagged.

"Hope, if I will get a therapy, will you promise me to wait for my recovery?" napaangat ako ng tingin dahil sa sinabi niya.

Does he really mean it? He's trying to be normal, just for the sake of his love for me?

"I need you as much as I need a professional," he cupped my cheeks and then Seungcheol pecked a kiss.

"Hold on a little, babe. You will be able to see your own happiness in me, soon,"

Paano kung bulag na ako sa panahong 'yon? Paano kung hindi na ako didilat sa oras na gumaling na si Choi Seungcheol?

Kakayanin ko pa kayang sumaya?