Our Differences

Chapter 4 - Leaving Me

I spent the last half hour just staring at my wall. Looking at nothing. At some points I would count the holes or cracks in my wall. I found quite a few to be honest. There were exactly.

9 holes

26 cracks.

It was stupid really, but it was my only form of entertainment as I still can't leave my room as my brother is still here. However, time was in fact closing in as it was getting darker and darker. Whenever you were called to the army you had to go at night. I don't know why but I am guessing it's so it's harder for the enemy spies to ambush them whilst on the road.

"Elysia?" My brother questioned from the other side of the door. "You still in there?" He asked.

"Yeah, I am here, unfortunately." I muttered the last bit so he couldn't hear me.

"Well, I have to go in 10 minutes, and I was wondering if I could get a hug goodbye." Sorin stated calmly. He's acting as if nothing happened. Acting as if we didn't have a fight earlier and he just blew it off like it was nothing. Like I was worth nothing to him.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." I responded as dryly as I could. I needed to fix myself up. I didn't want to show him how much he upset or how much he hurt me just within a few words.

"Okay. I'll be by the fireplace." He expressed. Of course, he would be there. He always is. Whenever he's there the fireplace is normally lit just enough for a golden flame to form a dim light. He'd also have a small cup of water; sometimes coffee if we could afford it, next to him that he would slowly sip on as he read the same book over and over again. I am surprised he doesn't know all the words by now. I swear he has read it over 100 times.

𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪

I walked out my room being hit with the cackling of the dimly lit fireplace and the slight smell of vanilla. That's new. It never smells of anything other than burning wood or the dampness of the room. So why now does it smell of vanilla?

I treaded carefully over to where my brother was sat reading.

"Sorin" I whispered careful not to scare him.

His eyes flickered up to mine then right back down to the page. He ignored me for a moment his eyes quickly scanning the page. My guess was that he was trying to end the page he was on. Once his eyes stopped flicking back and forth, he grabbed the dried leaf that was paced next to him. He slowly and carefully slotted it into the book as his bookmark. He closed the book and placed it beside him. That's when his eyes finally met mine.

"Come sit." He said whilst patting the blanketed spot next to him. I slowly made my way towards him. Something felt off about these whole interactions. Or maybe it was just me that was feeling this way. I wouldn't be able to tell. It's not like I could read his mind.

I sat down next to him but put a bit of distance between us. I didn't want to have to touch him unless it was mandatory. I wrapped the worn-down blanket around myself. The blanket was pretty much a rag now, but we can't afford to replace it so were stuck with it.

"You know, I love you right?" Sorin questions me as he turns to look at me. I can't see him looking at me directly, but I can feel it. I can feel his stare on the side of my head. Suddenly the skin that needs peeling off by my fingernails has just gained so much more attention from me. "Elysia?" He questions again.

Yet all I can do is simply nod at his questions.

"That's good, I am glad you know. " He says quietly. "I know you don't want me to leave, but I have to. There's nothing here for me anymore and I need to be able to get us some sort of reliable income, don't I?" Sorin whispers. I still don't know if that question was for me or for himself, either way I don't know how to answer that.