THE TOWER OF LIFE

CHAPTER 18: REMINISCING THE PAST

Pain!!!

What is pain?

Have you ever felt pain?

Can you explain pain when you feel it?

How can you overcome it?

Do you ever survive it?

Junior had never felt the kind of pain he felt when his Mum died, he didn't even feel that kind of pain when he was told the news of her accident. He never knew it would hurt that much, that deep.

All his life, his Mum had been what mattered the most. He remembered how she had been the only one that understood him perfectly, she sacrificed a lot for his happiness and was always there for him. His Mum was his everything, she and Aina'u were his best friends.

Losing her took something precious from him, the thought of not seeing her for a long time made him want to lose his mind. He knew he should be praying for her to rest in peace, he wanted her to and hoped she would.

He gritted his teeth for the third time, why didn't he go see her sooner? The guilt was eating his consciousness and he felt like he was going mad over it.

He banged his hands on his desk "I should have gone to see her earlier, I should have spent more time with her."

He furiously wiped the tears on his face, he hated himself for staying away that long from one of the most important people in his life.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to glare at the intruder. He had wanted to be left alone that evening. His expression lightened as he came face to face with his Uncle.

"Uncle!" He cried.

His Uncle pulled him into a hug "It's alright to cry, you have to let it all out. Don't blame yourself for not going to visit her, perhaps it was for the best and Allah had already ordained it to be that way. So stop beating yourself over it and be busy praying for your Mum's soul. That's what she needs the most now."

His Uncle was the only family his Mum had, the only one that had treated her like a family and he was grateful that he was always there for them.

After he sobered up a little, his Uncle talked some sense to him and made sure he was okay before he left him to himself again.

Life taught Junior to treasure what he has before he lost it, that lesson was given to him in the hardest way ever. He never in a million years think that he would loss his Mum the way he did. And yet, he couldn't blame anyone as he knew that every soul would surely go back to the Creator.

He wiped his tears again and walked into the bathroom to perform ablution and pray for his Mum. Pray for Allah to forgive his shortcomings, pray for her peace, pray that she be given a high rank in Jannah, pray that they will be a family again in Jannah, pray that their pain is eased and they find peace again.

Aina'u and Amina soon retreated to the room, they left the relatives down stairs as they kept chatting non chalantly as if nothing had happened.

"Are you alright?" Amina asked her friend softly, her silence was killing her. She didn't say much for hours.

"Yeah. It's just that I still find it hard that Mum is gone. You know I didn't mind going to the hospital while she was there, the fact that she was still alive kept me going, kept me hoping that she would come back to us soon."

Aina'u sighed loudly "I would do anything to have her back, I would give anything to get her back. I know I sound selfish but I can not help feel this way. Ya Allah! Forgive me please."

Amina pulled her into a hug and let her cry to her heart's satisfaction.

"It is okay to be sad, it is okay to mourn so please do not let yourself lose faith in the Almighty."

"In Shaa Allah!" She replied hoping to be strong for her family.

Sleep was so far away from Aina'u that night, her eyes were wide open till dawn. She performed ablution and prayed till it was morning.

The three days prayer for her Mum was brief, they gave out alms and served food to the people that came for the prayer. Everyone dispersed that day, including Amina, and the house was empty as never before.

She used the opportunity to try and find sleep, her eyes were swollen and she was having an unbearable headache. She decided to check up on Junior before going to get some rest. They hadn't talked much after their Mum's death, he was pretty reserved.

She knocked on his door and entered when there was no response. There he was, crying again. His eyes red and swollen but he was still crying for his loss.

She sat down beside him on the bed and pulled him into a hug. Both siblings cried their hearts out, their Dad joined them at that moment and the family cried together.

Amina got home safely that evening, she went into her room immediately she got home and slept off. She woke up a few minutes later, her stomach was in a turmoil and it felt like her intestines were being burnt by fire.

She screamed in pain when it worsen, her body grew hot and she felt terrible. She didn't know when she passed out.

By the time she became conscious again, her whole body was numb and she couldn't move. Because it had been long since she had such an attack, she had almost forgotten about the pain, about how she had been hurting.

She dragged her body and brought out her drugs from her bag to take. She had not taken it for two days and had eaten only little, the aftermaths was not one she would like to face any time soon again.

She could not help but cry when she realized that despite all her screams of help, no one was home to take care of her. If she would have died that way, so no one would have been there for her. That thought made her cry harder until she was able to sleep again.

When she woke up, she had felt a little better. She was hungry, she went into the kitchen and made oat to take. After eating, she made her way back to her room and prayed.

She called up Aina'u to check up on her but she did not pick, hoping that she had finally been able to get some sleep. She called Junior too, he picked after the first ring.

"Assalamu alaikum! Hey!"

"Wa alaikumus salaam! Hi!" His voice was gruffy.

"How are you holding up?"

He sighed "Alhamdulillaah! I will be fine."

She nodded, knowing that he could not see her. She had not been able to talk to him ever since their Mum died.

"I really hope you take good care of yourself. Please try to be strong for your family's sake."

He was quiet for a little while.

"I... I am really trying my best to be strong but it is very hard for me. I wish I had been a better son to her."