3am APP (internet horror)

I need to keep writing

(What follows may seem erratic at times or completely incomprehensible at most. I beg for  forgiveness as I journey in the spiraling depths of this nightmare. Please, forgive me Ed. Forgive me, Thomas. Forgive me, winky girl (I'm keeping you tug away in my memory so she wouldn't have you)...Please, forgive me...Mom. Some one please come save me.)

What I discovered the next day, brought this silly little experience of an APP to a whole other level. In an attempt to find closure about Ed, I went to visit Mrs. Harris. I shouldn't have. I kept shouted at myself it was a bad idea all through the bus that commuted to his apartment. I got lost twice, trying to desperately remember which apartment block it was. The first time, ending up in a dead up with smelly dumpster, ripped in the afternoon sun. The second time, in at a similar looking apartment building, when I reached the mail boxes, there was not Harris listed on the faded tags. Since I went to his floor and it was unfamiliar. That's how I knew it was the wrong building. I went back to the lobby, completely lost and desperate. Why was I putting all this effort to met a mother who just lost her only son in such a tragic event? What kinda vulture had I become?

I had too...

It was only only way of saving myself...

I had to know, what was after me...

However, I wasn't sure I was ready for the answer. 

I assure you, whoever has my notebook between their fingers... You already know what happened to me. Please...Forgive me. But I need to keep writing this. There's no way of stopping it. It's coming. I know. I saw it this morning staring at me in the mirror. I know now how to see it. Stare at a point just above my ears in the reflection, and you will actually see the block black eyes gazing at you. It is inside already. It is waiting. I have so little time. 

"Clay?" said a startled Mrs. Harris when she opened the door. "You're Clay, right? Edison's friend." I couldn't look away from her red-rimmed eyes, the bags under them. I nodded. Her opened the door wider and stepped aside to let me in. "Come, please." Beyond was the same cozy hallway that led to a happy home destroyed by grief. My legs locked on the threshold. what was I going here? What was to important, I had to stir this woman's peace with more shit?

"Its ok," she nodded, she smile dipped a little. "I also have the same face each time I stepped in. I'm expecting him to call from his room. 'Welcome back home.' in his singsong way." She shook her head, with her eyes welling up. "I don't know what really happened," her voice quivered. I just stood there. I was an asshole. I'm an asshole. 

"I'm sorry for your lost." Those words were flat compared to what Ed...the two-word name guy...is...was. I could never know kid Ed playing ball. The science kid Ed...who took science classes and did science projects. I will never know him. It was too late. a flash of our last encounter flash through my mind. Did I try to kill him or was it the other way around? Right now my memories are all jumbled up.