FEARLESS ~ Sequel to Silence

𝔹𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕕

Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts

Past

My back was soaked with dirty water. This was nothing new. Being bullied was nothing new either. Having been kicked in ribs was usual norm. This was all getting very tiring.

With a sigh I looked at my tormenters. Right now I seriously wanted to laugh and say, 'Try harder. I have been through worse. Is this all you can do?'

My therapist keeps saying when troubled I need to go to my happy place. I wanted to ask her, 'What's this happy place you keep talking about?'

If one isn't happy nor has any happy place; where would they go?

A blonde boy kicked my ribs and I doubled in pain. Pain, was a familiar feeling now. He said something but who cared. Maybe his posies did. I saw them laughing. He tugged my hair hard and except for me clenching my jaw, I learnt not to give them any satisfaction of feeling pain. Someone else slapped me and third one punched my nose.

Blood.

Smirking at them openly I wiped my blood. This made them agitated. They were about to hit but then something stopped them and they ran away. As for me, I slumped against the wall.

Great! One more day where I have to stay away from home. Last time I went looking like this, my grandparents almost had an heartattack. It was best to stay away and let them think I was rebellious, than me going home and making them suffer the past.

It's been a year since we came to New York and my grandparents enrolled the two of us in a private school, assuming that people would be good to a guy with disability. Little did they know that wasn't the case. For people here I was an outcast. A boy who was mute, deaf with two different colored eyes.

Initially it was bearable but then it became worst. I kept thinking that maybe all this would stop but to no avail. Now, I am beyond all this. I just wanted to live alone.

Getting up from where I was slouched down, I slowly truged towards edge of the building. Sunset was bathing my body and cool air was caressing my skin. Wind raked her fingers through my hair and it made me think how beautiful it would be to just jump right now. Would anyone care?

My feet were so close to the edge. One jump and I can escape this pain. One jump and no longer will I shed any blood. One jump and it would be the end of Akira Takahashi. Damian was already no longer in existence. Just one jump.

Azora.

The sun reminded me of her. She's the only one who tethers me to this world. I knew the one who would be affected the most is her. I cannot do this to Azora. When I say she's my other half, we both know how true is that. She won't survive if anything were to happen to me. Taking a step back I jump down and turn only to see her eyes wide open and tears falling out.

Fuck! No!

She was pale. I am sure she was yelling my name.

I am sorry you had to see me this weak. I am sorry.

Just as I took one step towards her, her body clashed against mine and I held her close to my heart. She was the only one whose touch I could bear. Wordlessly I kept apologising to her. What else could I do? This wasn't the first time has has seen me so broken. At times I wonder if she preferred me not so weak. She is the only one who means so much to me.

I am sorry.

She was shaking and all I could do was bear it all. She felt me. Always. Even now she knew where to find me. This also scares me, because if my ordeal wreaks me, I always wanted to ask her if she felt my tremors too.