Silent Love, Silent Pain [Levi x OC]

51. 57th expedition

"Well...I felt like shit," she crossed arms on her chest in a defensive way.

"That makes two of us," he mumbled and she stopped with that pose immediately. He was more hurt by this situation than her, she had to remember that.

"I had to talk with someone-"

"You could do that with me" he cut in. "It's our problem"

"Isn't that what I'm doing right now?" she asked and he got silent. "Look," she sighed as she spoke a little softer. "I was too afraid to talk before"

"And Hange changed that? Or are we doing this just because you had to come?"

She grimaced as he said that, even though she knew he had a right to ask that. "I want to apologize" these words caught his attention and he looked at her attentively. "You were right. We should have tried dosing less and less to me. But instead I ran from you. I'm sorry. I just...I was scared," she shook her head.

His whole face soothed as she said that. He cut the distance between them and put streaks of her hair behind her ear. She trembled as soon as she felt his fingers skimming her skin. "You don't need to run from me," he said and rested his forehead on her own while clasping their hands together. "I love you, Soph" he added quietly and she felt like her heart was about to explode. It was the first time he said that to her. Suddenly all her thoughts were away. There was only Sophie and Levi. No one else. She had him. He belonged to her. That realisation made her selfish. At that moment she knew. Even if Hange didn't give her idea on how to deal with her addiction she would crawl back into Levi's arms. She couldn't resist that man. Not now when she found out that he felt the way she did. She would risk it all now, just to be with him. Selfish and irresponsible, but it was too tempting to stop herself.

She pulled him for a kiss. It was short, yet rough. The kind of kiss that was supposed to fill your lover with the feelings you had for them. That was exactly her intention. She wanted to taste his love and show him her own. "I love you too," she said and saw sparkles in his eyes that she didn't see before. His face blushed slightly and she could swear that his heart pounded a little faster than usually. She smiled at him and he returned it while pulling her for a hug.

"No fucking running from me, alright?"

"Agreed," she chuckled and wrapped her hands around his waist. "I'll try to cut these pills slowly and-"

"Oi, let's talk about it after the expedition," he interrupted her. He wasn't in the mood for this subject. Tomorrow they were about to enter titan's territory, it was stressful enough. Now that his precious Sophie told him she loves him, he didn't want to talk about anything. He just wanted to keep her close that night, smell her hair and kiss her plush lips till the morning. Yes, it was supposed to be a quick mission. Yes, they didn't expect any obstacles. But just in case he wanted to remember the night before as a calm one. They have lacked nights like this recently and he was so goddamn tired after weeks away from her.

"Alright," she nodded. "What do you wanna talk about then?"

"Nothing," this time he was the one to initiate the kiss and she returned it eagerly, ready to give and receive way more than this.

﹡﹡✹﹡﹡

The gate got open and Scouts urged their horses to canter outside. They passed a few abandoned houses before they got into the assigned formations. Sophie got a chance to take a glimpse of the new cadets. There weren't many of them. Much less than last year actually. She didn't wonder why. It was painfully clear - they were the ones that had to defend wall Rose for the majority of time. Most of them probably got too scared to even think about joining the Survey Corps. But those who did had to be really courageous. She recognized two of them - Mikasa and the blonde boy who's name was Armin. She wondered if they joined because they wanted to or because Eren did.