After the Storm- JJ Maybank (Outer Banks)

17.

I sat at John B's, reeling over what had just occurred at my home. I had snuck out in the middle of the night to get away from my mom. She really had blamed everything on me, it made no sense. The divorce was far from my fault but I had a hard time believing that he left without saying goodbye to me. Did she do something to him? I just kept thinking over and over again. I thought about Rafe and what he had said to me the night he raised a hand on me, why would he ever think that was okay? After I came to him the first time she hit me, you would think he would be the one that understood. I was very wrong in thinking that.

~

Rafe had approached me when I was walking up to my front porch after hanging with the pogues. I tried avoiding him like I had been for weeks, he was back from his vacation now.

"Rachel? That you?"

"Rafe, please."

"Is everything okay? You've been ignoring my texts."

"I'm fine. Rafe, I can't face you. I can't. I'm sorry." I went to reach for the door but he held out his arm so I was not able.

"Please talk to me. Just for a minute. Come to my place, we can sit on the porch. I just wanna talk."

I huffed on my breath and crossed my arms.

"You might not like what I have to say."

"That's perfectly fine."

I walked over to his porch in silence with him by my side. I sat on his porch swing, holding a pillow. He sat next to me, turning his body to face me.

"How have you been?"

"It's been okay lately. My dad seems to be doing better. How was your little vacation getaway?"

"It was good. I'm sorry we left without notice."

"Rafe, you aren't required to tell me when you're leaving town."

"Right. Well, can we talk about the night at the beach?"

I swallowed the saliva in my mouth and looked down to my fingers, fiddling around with them.

"I'm so sorry for how I acted. I- I just couldn't kiss you. I wanted to, but my body just froze and I ran. It was my fault, not yours. You're- you're perfect. You deserve a girl that treats you better."

"You're okay, Rachel. I understand. I was just worried that I did something wrong, and you are amazing. You are the girl I want." His hand laid over mine as he looked to me with kind eyes.

"I'm sorry. I can't. I will always have a spot for you, Rafe. But, I don't see you the way you see me."

I saw his facial expression change quickly as I said those words.

"This is what I get for taking you in and only treating you with kindness all these years?"

"Rafe, you're an amazing friend and I hope we can continue to be friends."

"It's those pogues, isn't it?" His hand slips from mine and he looks across the yard, sighing loudly.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb. I've seen you hanging around them. Is it John B?"

"Rafe. What's the matter with you?"

"You do like him."

"I don't like John B. Even if I did, it's none of your business."