The Perfect Party (Konosuba x Male Reader)

Chapter 5 (Meadow spar)

(Around 1 pm in an open field)

For the opening of the battle, I rushed at her with all my speed, Naruto running with my pole ready, as I was about to hit her, she chanted an advanced lightning spell. Jumping back to avoid being shocked, circling her seemed to be a good strategy as she wouldn't be able to precisely hit me with my speed that's buffed by Eris.

That was until she made another chant with a red magic circle that created a large fire barrier preventing me from staying far from her. The snow melts into the water with the water melting into steam, preventing me from seeing far.

Having to change strategy again, I decided to do a plan so dumb that it might work. 

(Y/N): You may have been trapped and you may have a literal shield around you, but I do have one thing that you don't have.

Yunyun: What is it?

(Y/N): PURE UNREGULATED RECKLESSNESS OF A TEENAGE BOY WITH THE HELPING HAND OF FATE!

Rushing at her, she deployed the same strategy of using lighting spells which I deduced are spells that can be chanted fast, but whether they are dangerous, I would say yes. But back to what was important, when the bolt of lightning went to me, I slammed the bolt of lightning like a ball against a bat, redirecting it to her. She dodged it, although just barely, but then, she began chanting another spell, this time, it was in the colour of blue.

(Y/N): No matter what spell you use, I'd always hit them back no matter if it's fire, ice or even air. I can just deflect it!

Yunyun: [FINISHED CHANTING] I know, that's why I am not going to hit you. Look up!

(Y/N): What do you mean look- oh no.

When I looked up, I saw a giant ball of water over me. Then, it dropped. Drenching me making me fall to the ground. That's when Yunyun went to me holding her pocket knife near my neck.

(Y/N): Hahaha, you win. I never even stood a chance. You didn't even pull out your wand!

Eris: Battle end!

In the entire time of the battle, Eris was having a picnic, enjoying the spectacle of a teenage battle junkie and an introverted weird girl. Suffice to say, she was far from disappointed with the outcome.

Yunyun: A-ah, I am so s- s- sorry (Y/N), I nearly hurt my n- n- new friend!

(Y/N): Hahaha, don't worry. I only have a few bruises, you're a completely different person. Nothing serious that Eris can't heal. The only major thing that was destroyed was my weapon, which is nearly burnt and...

(Y/N): Wait a minute... Oh no. Oh man oh, no have I screwed up!

Yunyun: W- w- what is it (Y/N)?

(Y/N): IT'S...

[INSERT MASSIVE EXPLOSION]

(Y/N): WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! I FELT LIKE MY EARDRUMS WAS SHATTERED!

Yunyun: Oh, that was just my rival Megumin. She probably has Kazuma to take care of her, but I can't be too sure so I'll go and investigate. You stay here and uh... recover for a bit.

(Y/N): Hey, we are a party now, and more importantly, friends. The least I can do is help you, is help.

Yunyun: Ah... yes sure. We are indeed friends! Let's go.

She said with a gleaming smile.

About 10 minutes later, I was the first one to enter the scene, and what I saw was complete chaos. There was a blond lady without any armour to speak passed out with claw marks and bruises all over her, looking closely it seemed as if she enjoyed every second of it. Aqua, whom I already know, is having an oversized panther biting her forehead and a flat-chested girl who looks to have the same clothes colour as Yunyun's clothes. And in the middle of it, all was a generic-looking adventurer looking out in utter despair at the girls.

(Y/N): That must be Megumin. Oy yah twat, why don't ya look over here and pick on someone competent!

That most defiantly caught the panthers attention, with it dropping Aqua only leaving a bite mark and a pool of saliva. 

TEMPORARY QUEST [SUBJAGAITING THE ROOKIE KILLER]

STATUS: ONGOING

I made that myself, how'd ya like it?

As I ran straight towards it, pole in hand, still having Eris's effects, jumped 10 meters in the air, with my full body force slamming onto the panther. Killing it instantly, of course, with the amount of power exerted to kill it, and with the battle with Yunyun earlier, the pole broke in the process in half. Well, it was inevitable but still sad, but then, out of nowhere, dozens of goblins came out of the bushes, looking like they are about to clean up what the panther did.

(Y/N): Well crap, seems like I'm about to die, unless...

Just on cue, Yunyun came in and wiped out the entire goblin horde using her lightning spell. This time, wand out in her hand. I really can't compare to her, that's when suddenly I was temporarily knocked out. 

TEMPORARY QUEST [SUBJAGAITING THE ROOKIE KILLER] 

STATUS: COMPLETE

Well that was anti-climatic

[An hour later]

When I came to, I woke up next to a campfire with Yunyun, Eris, multiple pouches filled to the brim with... something? and a panther corpse with a giant mark on its top, with my wooden pole broken in half lying next to a tree. With Yunyun nowhere to be seen.

(Y/N): Uhhh, my head hurts, what happened whilst I was knocked out? And why does it feel like I'm lying on a soft pillow...

When I woke up, I saw Eris's face, that's when I knew, I have indeed peaked in life.

Eris: Well, you see... when Yunyun used her lightning spell, the weapons the goblins had flown in multiple different directions flying everywhere- Hey, are you even listening?

(Y/N): Ah- what? Oh yes, I am listening. It's just hard to even listen when I'm in a lap pillow between your thighs.

Eris: That's it's, your time is off. I am leaving.

(Y/N): Oh wait no I'm sorry that was just a joke! Please actually tell me what happened?

Eris: Sigh* Alright, apparently some guy decided to mess with Kazuma as he had the adventurer rank and has 3 advanced job party members, then he decided to switch parties, that big explosion we heard was from Megumin, the girl lying down, and it attracted the "Rookie Killer" which caused havoc. The passed out girl is named Darkness who likes to "protect" her allies by taking hits, and last but not least, Aqua senpai. Also, the reason why a horde of goblins appeared out of nowhere was that the "Rookie Killer" herds goblins to bait newbie adventurers, hence why the name, "Rookie Killer". Oh yeah, and if you're wondering, Yunyun decided to follow Megumin back to town because of how much Magic-pow she expended.

(Y/N): Well, anyway, let's go back to Axel. We might get a great amount of money with the number of goblins subjugated and the death of the "Rookie Killer". We might get a great profit in the end! And also replace my weapon and another thing...

[Chapter end]

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Author's afterword:

Oh boy, another chapter finished! But with his weapon destroyed with something else to replace. It seems we will be seeing a more different self-insert in the next chapter.

Also, I occasionally edit small parts in chapters. Anyways, PEACE!

Word Count not including this: 1193