SILENT TEARS || JK

47

"Honey, can you bring Mia here? So we all can sleep together for anoth-"

"Mommy...."

I heard the most cutest voice ever. I turned my gaze onto my cutie away from Jungkook.

"Hey Angel...Good morning" Jungkook stood up from the bed and went closer to Mia to get her into his arms.

"I want to sleep with mommy" Mia said hugging Jungkook's neck.

"My baby missed me? Come here." I sat on the bed and widened my arms to get Mia into my warm embrace from Jungkook's.

I laid on the bed again with Mia in my embrace.

"Let's sleep" Jungkook said while laying beside us and hugging me and Mia.

Mia drifted into sleep in no time hugging me more tightly.

"Looks like she missed you" Jungkook whispered while caressing my cheek.

I gave him a smile while hugging Lia.

"I love you Hana"

"I love you too Jungkook"

I slowly opened my eyes. A tear fell down from my eye drenching the pillow I was laying.

I looked around only to find myself in my room under the warm blankets.

But it felt cold. No matter how warm it was, at that moment I felt cold.

I slowly sat up on my bed and wiped the tears which were rolling down from my face.

Waking up early in the morning with tears rolling down from my eyes has been my usual way of waking up now.

I'm so tired of it. I'm crying over him every day knowing he won't come again.

Why am I crying for him?

Finally after all, my mind asked that simple question which had a deep meaning behind it.

Everything is true. He won't come back again. I won't see him again. I won't be in his embrace ever again.

But why am I crying?

Yeah, I love him and all those realities hurt so painfully.

But why? Crying won't make anything better.

Jungkook saved me that day. To make me live again. He gave me a life to live. But what am I doing now? I'm not living my life. I'm just suffering, making me want to do that thing again.

Am I not living that life again, where I was with that woman?

Did he save me for this? Gave me a life for this?

No. He didn't.

Then should I do that again? No, it won't get me to him.

My mind, my body, my whole soul said that one thing which had changed my whole life.

I should live. I should live my life.

For him. For myself.

I'm lucky. Though it for a short time I felt his love. For the first time in my life I felt like I've being wanted because of him.

Isn't it great?

I still have his love with me. So can't I move on from this?

Letting go of someone is not easy. It never was, specially if that person means the whole world to you. Like how Jungkook means to me.

But it does not mean that we can't let go of them. We can. We obviously can let go of them.

It's not like we can hold on them forever. We have to let go of them sooner or later.

His death left me with an unbearable, indescribable pain. But the love he gave me is above all those.

While his death left me with an unbearable pain, his love left me with a feeling that no one could ever steal from me.

He made me feel special. Even it for a day.

He sang a beautiful song for me only I could hear.

While my heart sang a song only he could hear.

I'm going to live.

Again.

For me.

For him.

For ourselves.