SILENT TEARS || JK

44

What should I've done?

I did the only thing I could do after proceeding everything what I heard.

I locked myself for days and ran away from everything.

Coward.

I did not have any tears left to cry or the energy needed.

The pain was too much.

Jungkook was my everything. For the past eight years I've been missing him each and every day and was waiting for him to come back.

I was hoping that we would have a beautiful future. Beautiful family. Beautiful life.

But hearing those words... what should I have even felt?

After knowing I'm the one who has let go of him in the first place?

I was like an empty bottle.

I was so empty.

The fact that he has left me forever and I won't be able to see him again is more than anything I could bear.

I loved him. I loved him so much.

And to complete that love he loved me with his whole life.

And with all those, I couldn't stand the fact that he died 8 years ago. And plus his decision.

"Why did you do it? Why did you jump?!"

"I saved you"

"I've tried the same thing"

"So, you dumb, don't try to do it again. It's not the solution"

Jungkook's words echoed through my mind.

"Liar"

"You're a liar Jungkook"

"You're a big stupid liar"

"I hate you. I hate you Jeon Jungkook"

I shouted from the top of my lungs just to hide my pain. Hoping that those words will take this pain away.

But it didn't. Not even for a once.

"Why did you act like you're totally fine with everything? We could have gone through this together Jungkook. I could have saved you"

"And what now? Do you realise how hard it is for me now? You knew more than anyone, what exactly you meant for me. Why did you do it? Why didn't you trust and rely on me? I feel like I don't have an escape from this"

"Is it a sin to fall in love and wishing a beautiful life with that person? Is it that much of a sin that I had to go through something like this?"

Now, I wish I've never met you.