bucket list || l. norris

thirty nine

* hey! super emotional chapter coming your way. things aren't always happy-go-lucky in any FOREVERLANDO story. you can't really expect any different from me. nevertheless; enjoy and engage as you read. interaction was super low on the previous chapter. i planned this chapter in advance, but i've made it even more emotional to get you guys back for the lack of interaction. whoops. sorry. don't cry too much. :) *

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"Too hot?" Lando peeled the blanket away from my body but I shook my head and pulled it back. "Just right?"

"Perfect." I smiled, covering the majority of my face except my eyes with the blanket, before cuddling further into Lando's side. The television was on, but I was barely paying attention.

The mood between us had been different all day. After our date a couple of nights ago, and after we came home and professed our undying love for one another, things felt different. I wasn't sure how and I couldn't figure out why, but something in the air had changed between us. From what I could figure, it wasn't a good thing.

"You tired?" Bluntness was the key factor in figuring out that the mood and the atmosphere was different in our relationship. Usually, we could sit in silence for hours without feeling awkward. Listening to Lando talk made me feel uncomfortable.

"No, I'm okay." I sighed, chewing on my lower lip while fiddling with my fingers beneath the blanket. That in itself was a pointer; I felt awfully anxious, like he'd figured me out.

"Anything on your mind?" I knew he was pushing me to open up. I couldn't blame him for looking out for me.

"No." Shaking my head, I simply focused entirely on the television, however, my brain struggled to register the images before me.

Lando shifted and it caused me to release my grip on his body, like he did it on purpose because he knew I was lying. He knew me too well. He knew when something was wrong, and this time, he'd known it for weeks.

"You're lying." Lando spoke with confidence - because he knew he was right - and it startled me. I didn't expect him to be so assertive about this, especially because he didn't actually know what was going on. I couldn't open up to him and he was getting angry because he knew I was hurting and wouldn't admit it.

"I'm not lying," I rolled my eyes as Lando stood up from the sofa, brushing himself off and letting out an infuriated huff of air. "You're being dramatic. I'm adjusting to not being at work."

"What is wrong with you?" Lando spoke to me with a raised voice. I didn't want to argue with him. Last time, when we argued in front of Callum - because of Callum - we didn't speak for ages and it hurt me. Things were different between us now and there was more at risk. "You've been distant and quiet for weeks now. It's like you're pushing me away. Even when we went out the other night and I told you how I feel about you, you were still miserable. I opened my heart to you. Have I done something wrong?"

"No," I shook my head, sitting up and folding the blanket neatly before placing it over the back of the sofa. "I'm not trying to push you away. You know I want you."

"Show me then," his abrupt tone caused me to sigh. He would never, ever force me to do anything and I'd definitely asked for this because I was the one keeping things locked away. I was the one who refused to open up because I felt scared. Silence. "Exactly. You can't."