Double Life | Natasha Romanoff

13. The start of it

Your POV
I am having another nightmare. This time I am brought back to the time I first joined NSA. I was also undergoing deep conditioning to build muscles and things were even harder then. I had to start from the ground up with nothing. Each day I wake up with muscle pain all over my body and going down the stairs was the worst. I couldn't even change my clothes with ease.

Day after day, night after night I was improving, being able to lift heavier weights, run faster, respond quicker and aim better, not to mention the theory test I had to take. There were about 50 admittances and only 5 remaining at the last day of the evaluation exercise. We interacted with the other trainees, but conversations were strictly about NSA or missions. Personal feelings were not allowed.

"This is the final test, pass it and you're in." Ester, who was the instructor then, was briefing her trainees who were standing in a straight line. "You'll be heading in one at a time."

One by one you see the trainees enter the room. The door wasn't opened far enough to see what's inside. They must have another door because they didn't come out the same door they entered.

"Y/N Y/L/N it's your turn." Ester nodded for me to enter.

You enter a dark room with a guy seated on a chair with a cloth over his head.

"Shoot him." Ester passed you a gun.

"What?" Shoot a random guy who I have no idea about? Is this some kind of joke?

"Go on, if you don't kill him you won't be able to get anywhere." Ester whispered into my ears. I pointed the gun at him.

I signed up for this. I signed up for this. Without this I wouldn't be able to do anything.

I clenched my jaw and aimed at him. My hand was turning white but I was still unable to do it.

"Do it, do it in one shot or he'll suffer even more."

I screamed and squeezed the trigger. Claps came from the side as I put down the gun by my side, breathing heavily.

"They say the first murder is never easy." They dragged the dead guy out. "You don't have to worry about him. He was on death roll anyways. You just ended it early for him." Ester patted my shoulder before escorting me out.

I wasn't sure what I was feeling, but I wanted to throw up, pictures of the blood splattering were still lingering in my head. I was alone in the room so I went to the nearest bin and released the contents in my stomach.

The first murder is not easy...

Soon, came along another lady, Luna. But I didn't know her name then. We were the only two people who completed the entire evaluation and were granted permission to be agents of NSA.

My body in reality was stiff as stone, lying on my side. Struggling to breathe as my face turns pale. The nightmare wasn't that scary, it was the feeling that hurts. The struggles when undergoing body conditioning, feeling as if your muscles were getting ripped out. The wave of guilt I had when I killed that guy was the last feeling of guilt I ever felt. Every kill count after that was nothing.

I must have passed out as the next thing I saw when I open my eyes again was Stella standing next to my bed with a worried look on her face. I didn't know how long she have been here.

"You're awake, I thought you died. You didn't come to the training session and I can't wake you up."

"Sorry, I'm okay now. I'll get ready and meet you there." I push myself out of bed and Stella is still standing there looking at me. I nodded for her to leave so that I could change.