Orphic Love

Chapter 27

Chapter 27
Panic

Pakiramdam ko sinusubok ang pasensiya ko ngayong gabi. First, Aedion coming to my store this morning. Then that short conversation we had earlier about... I don't know? Him, trying to play innocent after all these years? And now...

Magkasalubong ang mga kilay, my arms are crossed under my chest. As my eyes drifted to the right, I saw my own reflection from the elevator door. Irritation is written all over my face that for a second I kind of understand why some people says I am the unapproachable type, and unfriendly looking.

My eyes continued to move to my right hanggang sa mahagip na ng aking paningin ang dalawang nasa bandang iyon.

Standing side by side—too close if you ask me, for just a small movement made from either of them would make their shoulders brush on each other. Aedion and Engineer Zoniega, as he mentioned earlier, stood next to me and Ralph. May kung ano silang pinag-uusapan na hindi mahagip ng aking tainga dahil mahina ang boses nila, tila ayaw iparinig sa iba ang kung anomang pinag-uusapan nila. Like it's a little secret that only the two of them should know.

My eyes narrowed as I continued to look, or more like glaring at them. Kasabay ng lalong pagsasalubong ng mga kilay, ramdam ko din ang patuloy na pag-usbong ng iritasyon at ng hindi mapangalanang damdamin habang tinititigan sila. The sweet smile on Engineer Zoniega's lips didn't show any signs of fading.

Aedion jerked his head, turning it to the front where the closed elevator door is, showing the reflection of everyone inside.

Sandali pang nanatili ang mga mata ko sa kasama niya bago nagpasiyang ibaling sa kaniya ang tingin. I tried to follow his line of vision and as I did, it slowly dawned to me what he was looking at.

Tumigil ang mga mata ko sa sarili kong repleksiyon. Kung saan siya nakatingin. From my peripheral vision, I could see him still looking at me. Ni hindi man lang natinag dahil nahuli ko siyang nakatingin sa akin. Sa halip, nakita ko ang unti-unting pag-angat ng sulok ng kaniyang mapulang labi. As if he liked how I caught him looking at me.

I exhaled roughly through my mouth, averting my eyes as I did. Nguli kong binalik sa kaniya ang aking mga mata at tinitigan siya pabalik. Ignoring once again the idea in my mind that I should treat him indifferently, I glared at him, showing him just how pissed I am to be inside a small space with him.

Alam ko naman na nakuha ko na siyang patawarin sa mga nagdaan na panahon. Na kahit hindi man siya humingi ng tawad sa ginawa niyang panloloko sa akin noon, pinatawad ko siya. I did it, not only because I think I needed to so I could gradually move on from everything that happened. I forgive him cuz I realized what Mama told me was right. Na sapat na ang mga dinanas niya bilang kabayaran sa ginawa niya sa akin. Tinanggap ko ang dahilan na 'yon, kasama ng pag-iisip na, hindi ko na rin naman na siya makikita pa.

Dahil ba sa gulat? O dahil sa pagpapanggap niyang walang kasalanan kanina nang magkausap kami? I'm not sure why, but I feel so irritated right now, so irritated with him. Para bang kahit na anong gawin niya maiinis ako.

Ngunit sa kabila ng nararamdamang iyon, 'di ko pa rin mapigilan ang sarili na tumingin sa kaniya. Na alam ko namang mas lalo lang makakapagpairita sa akin.

Our mini staring contest ended when the elevator reached the basement parking. The door slide opened. Kanina pa kating-kati na umalis, agad akong lumabas at tinahak ang daan patungo sa kung nasaan ang aking sasakyan.

Mabilis ang paglalakad, I was almost marching towards my white land cruiser. I unlocked it and held the door handle before turning to my side, to where Ralph is standing.

I felt guilty when our eyes met. Masyado akong na-control ng iritasyon, hindi ko na alam kung nababastos ko na ba siya sa ipinapakita kong pagmamadali na umalis. Oo at may kailangan pa siyang puntahan pero pakiramdam ko may mali pa rin sa inaasal ko.