Orphic Love

Chapter 16

Chapter 16
Talk

I couldn't understand myself. I have all the right reasons to turn him down, yet, I feel like I've done something terribly wrong.

He was only making fun of me, I told myself. Ginagawa lang nila akong katatawanan. Pilit ko 'yong sinisiksik sa isipan ko. That I shouldn't feel guilty about it cuz it was the right thing to do. Pero tila walang epekto ang lahat ng 'yon. I feel so guilty.

Lying on my bed, I slowly turned to the other side and wipe my tears. Something is definitely wrong with me. Pasado alas onse na, I can't believe I still waited for his break time at work. He didn't call me anymore. He also did not text me earlier kaya hindi ko rin sigurado kung tumuloy pa ba siya sa trabaho pagkatapos ng pag-uusap namin kanina.

I stretched my arm to reach my cellphone at the bedside table. A new batch of tears pooled my eyes nang makitang walang mensaheng mula sa kaniya.

Ano nga ba ang inaasahan ko? I already turned him down so it's natural for him to stop doing the things he would normally do before. That thought made me feel more guilty.

"Binasted mo na ba?"

From my food, I lifted my eyes to Rebecca. Simula nang sabihin niya sa akin ang tungkol kay Aedion, palagi na niya itong tinatanong sa akin. Umangat ang isang kilay niya nang magtagal ang titig ko sa kaniya.

I looked back down to my food and started playing with it. I don't actually have the appetite to eat today, pinilit ko lang ang sarili ko para makasama ko sila. Isa pa, baka makahalata si Rebecca kung tatanggi ako. For some reason, I don't want to tell her about it.

I shook my head to answer her question.

From the corner of my vision, I saw how her brows furrowed while her thin red lips pursed. She looked displeased with my answer.

"Bakit hindi pa? Ano pa bang hinihintay mo?" iritado siyang bumuga ng hangin. "Ano? Hihintayin mo pa talagang maloko ka niya, ha?"

I bit my lower lips and shook my head once more. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang sasabihin.

I flinched when she stamped her hands on the table. Namimilog ang mga mata kong nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya. Umirap siya nang magtama ang paningin namin.

"Alam mo... bahala ka na! Kung gusto mong magpaloko sa kaniya, sige! Kung alam ko lang na willing ka naman palang magpaka-tanga sa kaniya, dapat hindi na kita sinabihan!" she spat angrily before turning her back and walked out.

"Rebecca!"

Erza stood up. She glared at me, as if it was my fault, before following Rebecca. Bumagsak ang balikat ko at walang nagawa kundi panoorin silang umalis.

Sa aking gilid, nakita ko ang pag-amba ni Mary na habulin sila. I did not bother to look at her and just started to arrange the plates we've used so I could return it. I'm sure she would side with them anyway. Palagi naman. Kahit na wala naman akong ginagawang mali, sa huli, ako pa rin ang nagmumukhang may kasalanan.

Who would side with me anyway? I'm just a boring loner who's trying hard to fit in to their world.

"Yuri," Mary called.

I turned to her weakly. She looked uneasy as she smiled at me wearily.

"It's okay. Take your time," she looked away. "R-Rebecca is only doing this for your sake. Pero naiintindihan ko kung... hindi mo kaagad magawa. You like Aedion. It must have been hard for you to believe all these."

The guilt in her eyes is very evident when she turned back to me and smiled which is obviously a fake one. She then left me to follow Rebecca and Erza.