Stockholm Syndrome

I Wish

All too soon Louis pulled away from our embrace and looked around the room for the first time, taking it in, when his eyes landed on Max. His eyebrows furrowed and his always present smile faded into a frown as the two made eye contact. “Max.”

“Louis,” Max said in an equally cold tone as he gave Lou the once over. He snorted in disgust as his eyes focused on me.

My stomach did summersaults and I wondered what I’d done to earn the glare he was giving me.

“Horan, don’t forget our little chat earlier,” Max said in a steely tone as he stood from the couch and made his way toward the doors. His body language was rigid, as if he was barely able to stand being in the same room as Lou and I. His face bore a mask of utter repulsion.

That’s when I remembered how much he and Louis hated each other.

All the pranks that had been pulled and every witty comment made by Lou was seen as an act of war by Max. I’d never gotten involved in the twitter fight between those two, but it was only natural that I knew what had transpired between them, as I am one of Louis’ closest friends. When you were in a band you knew everything about each other; even if you didn’t necessarily need or want to know. The bond between us was, and is, so strong that we’d do anything for each other.  When it came time to pick a side, we all chose Louis’ no questions asked.

Max wasn’t upset at me, at the moment, but rather he was doing everything in his power to control his feelings of hatred toward my band mate. He had promised me after all, that I’d be able to see Louis if I agreed to his rules, but I could see the toll Lou’s visit took on him. The two could barely stand to be in the same room.

“I’ll leave you under John’s supervision, but expect this visit to be short and sweet. I don’t want you getting the impression that you can chat all day long. I promised that I’d allow Louis to visit, and I am, but only because I gave my word.” Max glared at Lou with narrowed eyes as he opened the heavy oak doors that led to the hallway and to freedom. Before he exited, he looked over his shoulder and addressed me, “Oh, and Niall, you have about 35minutes starting now.”

Max then left the room and the doors closed behind him.

I glanced up at Louis with what I’m sure was a shocked expression. My mind was whirling with questions, and little to my amazement I felt angry, angry that Max had placed a time limit on my visit. After this many weeks, it’s been so long now that my perception of time is totally fucked up and almost nonexistent, it was the first time that I’d even spoken to anyone besides Max and John.

It was like Max wanted to completely isolate me and keep as his personal play thing. In fact, I’m positive that’s how he views me. I’m nothing but a toy to him. A toy that he wants to see how far he can bend before it breaks. My stubbornness was both a blessing and a curse. It helped me to hold onto my sanity and to resist Max to best of my abilities, but it also enticed him to use more force.

“Niall?”

  A voice broke my train of thought and I looked up into the eyes of my mate. They were warm and filled with concern as he placed a hand gently on my back. “We don’t have long, and we have so much to catch up on.”

I nodded, not sure exactly how to respond besides simply nodding my head. Lou was right, there was so much to catch up on, almost too much. Some of the events of late where painful, it physically hurt to think about them, and I knew that talking about those memories would only rip off the scab and make them bleed all over again. I wanted to talk about it, to get the weight off my chest, but I’d cry, and I hated crying. I absolutely would not cry in front of John. I’m sure he’d just laugh and tell Max how much of a wimp I was. I wouldn’t cry, but I couldn’t stop my lower lip from trembling.