Putting Up With It

Note 7

Oct 31st

 Dear you,

Tonight was the party. Truth be told, I was so exited. I put my costume on right when I got back from school and just lounged around in it all day until 4:00 when I was told to meet everyone at Gary’s. My mom was nice enough to lend me the car for the night. On my drive over all I could think about was how I got myself into this. Not in a bad way, but how I got myself into this group of friends, hosting the biggest party of the year. If it wasn’t for that one day I asked Madeline to sit with me, chances are I would still be sitting alone in the cafeteria and I wouldn’t even know about this party. I’d be at home, watching re-runs of Boy-Meets-World or something.

            I pulled up to Gary’s and got out. The house looked awesome. There were fog machines outside, and lights all over the house. I couldn’t tell where I was stepping because the fog was that thick. I made my way to the door and this time I just walked in because the door was unlocked. I saw Gary’s head peak around the corner and he smiled at me and gave this awkward wave. He startled me at first, he was all decked out in his Freddy Kruger makeup, and it looked legit. The girls did a really good job. He gave me another high five and a fist bump and it made me feel like that was our little handshake, even though guys do that all the time it was nice to have a guy do it with me. Snacks were laid out all over the kitchen and bowls of candy too. There were 5 coolers filled with different kinds of beers and on the table above the coolers were kinds of alcohol I didn’t even know existed. I could hear Madeline scream to Joanna upstairs saying that I was here. Then I heard both there feet come running down the stairs and they both ran into the kitchen and saw me and smiled so big. They both looked perfect. Joanna had this plaid coat on with shoulder pads and this short pencil skirt that matched her jacket and white stockings were her hair teased up real big. The similarities were uncanny. Madeline had this black coat on with polka dots on the arms of it and this grey layered skirt with black stocking under. She looked good, as always. “OH MY GOD FRANK. You look so good!” Madeline said running up to me. “Right back at you” I said. And I got to admit, I blushed when she said it. She did a few twirls and started laughing. Joanna walked up to me and said “All you’re missing is one thing.” I was a little confused; I thought my costume was spot on. She walked behind me and pulled my hood up. Gary and Madeline started giggling and so did I. “Now it’s spot on” She said and then winked at me walking over to the alcohol. “Thinking about a pre game shot?”  Gary asked Joanna. She looked at him grabbing the bottle of vodka, and 4 shot glasses. We all walked around the island in the kitchen standing in a circle around it watching Joanna pour the shots. We all picked up ours. I’ve never had vodka, put I didn’t tell them that. I could smell it and it smelled like pure rubbing alcohol. Gary raised his shot glass into the middle and said “Here’s to being professional losers” We clinked glasses and I swear taking that shot made me feel like I was swallowing his words. It went down like a rock, like a rock that was on fire and it kept burning until my stomach acid put it out. I’ve never tasted anything as rancid as vodka.

            A few hours later everyone started showing up. By then I’ve done 2 more shots and everything was starting to become blurry but I was still having a great time. Personally I think Halloween is an excuse for girls to dress like sluts, but right now I didn’t mind. Watching everyone dance to my play list was a trip. When Teenagers came on by My Chemical Romance, I felt like I was in a cult, everyone just screaming every lyric throwing there fists in the air. I think I finally understand why Gerard is so scared of teenagers.

            I saw a few people with little baggies of pills, but I never took one. Alcohol was enough for me tonight. The only thing I was not looking forward to was cleaning this place up tomorrow. Sometimes I’d still feel like a loser though. I’d go into the kitchen while everyone was dancing to my play list and I’d grab the vodka and do a shot by myself. There had to be at least 150 just on the level I was on. I didn’t even want to think about how many people were upstairs and in the basement. It’s weird how alone you can feel when you’re surrounded by people.

            At about 1:00 in the morning someone from upstairs came running down the staircase screaming “COPS, COPS ARE COMING” Everyone started freaking out and running for every exit they could find. I got caught in the middle of the crowd and I started looking over everyone screaming Madeline, and Joanna and Gary’s name over and over again. People were shoving me, and pushing me and slamming me against other people. I felt alone, not only alone but lost. From behind me, I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and screaming my name over the loud music that was playing. I quickly turned around to find Madeline standing there screaming “were going down the street! Come with me I’ll walk you there.” She took my hand, and dragged me out the door. People were flooding out of this place; I can’t even describe how many people. I felt like it was the last day of school and everyone was just fleeing to get out and start there vacation. Except this time, everyone wanted to get out so they wouldn’t get arrested.

            We were walking down the street and she was dragging me behind her still holding onto my hand. “Where are we going?” I asked everything was a blur. I knew what was going on, I was in control but it was fuzzy. “We’re going to the cemetery, Frank. It’s a tradition.” I smirked. I was now apart of this tradition and that felt good. When we got under a street light she stopped and she let go of my hand and stood in front of me face to face. “Frank.” She said licking her lips after. “Frank, Kiss me.” I was stunned. I didn’t know what to do. I was frozen. I worked up the courage and I said “Why?” she looked confused and a little hurt and she said “Because I’m floating. And I feel so good, and I have butterflies.” I turned her around to wear the light was shining on her face. Her pupils were dilated. “Please Frank, just kiss me please.” Her voice started cracking and it sounded like she was about to cry. She raised her arms up and covered her face with her hands and stared begging me to kiss her I finally grabbed her wrists and I pulled them down so I could see her face “Madeline, I can’t kiss you.” She looked at me in the eyes and she said “Why Frank? I thought you liked me.” Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to kiss her so bad, but I just couldn’t “Because Madeline.” I started, running my hands down to her hands and holding them “Because I want it to be perfect. I don’t want it to be like this, I want you to be floating because of our kiss, not because of some pill you took.” She stopped crying, and she sniffled a few times. “So you do want to kiss me?” a smile started to appear on her lips and I said “Yes Madeline, I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first day you got in trouble by Ms. Young  because you were talking to me.” That made her giggle, and then she leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

            I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks making me blush. She grabbed my hand again and started dragging me toward the cemetery. I could see Joanna and Gary in the distance sitting on a hill away from the graves. We walked up the hill and sat down in a circle. We turned around looking at Gary’s house in the distance with the police light flashing all down the street. We couldn’t help but laugh. Then, Joanna grabbed a bottle of vodka from behind her, and Gary took out 4 shot glasses and Joanna filled them up handing one to each of us. “Will you do the honors?” Gary asked making eye contact with me. I thought a little, and raised my glass into the air “To the no hope kids” I said. Everyone smirked and let out a little giggle and everyone repeated it in unison raising there shot glass “To the no hope kids”

Thanks for putting up with me,

-Frank