The Diary (2) - 45

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I look over at you and see sunshine

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I look over at you and see sunshine

But you saw love in an empty heart

~~~~

The diary:

It's unbelievable that I've endured so much at such a young age, and that my suffering wasn't stopping made me feel more miserable.

Had I known that he never wanted my name to be attached with his and that he would rather stay without a woman his whole life than live with me, I would have never agreed to this marriage. It wasn't a sudden appearance of my father-in-law's. I trusted him because even after my father died he was the only friend and closest who took care of me. So I accepted whatever he planned for this marriage.

I'm not blaming him for all this. I'm well aware that he did all this thinking everything will be alright and I'll be able to live a good life with his son and I can change his son as well. But that never happened and I don't this anything will happen in the near future.

The daily cold treatment I get from him. Every day I wait for him to come back home, his home. Every day I'll cook his favorite food for dinner, wash his clothes even if he didn't wear them. Keep his study clean. I never let the maids or Mrs. Ann touch his kinds of stuff once I entered this mansion. I'm his wife, and that's my duty.

Even though I know what kind of wife taehyung wanted but I heard he was never against his wife working but he just doesn't like women working way too hard not giving themselves time to breathe. I couldn't complete my MBA, I was able to complete my BBA before my father died so that made it even harder for me to find a suitable job.

I thought of going back to complete my studies. My in-laws were so happy to hear that, I got admitted to the same varsity as my brother-in-law where he is completing his BBA for marketing. I worked hard, I'm still working hard. But he never cared.

His harsh words still ring in my ears. He doesn't like me touching him, doesn't like it when I call him by his nickname, doesn't want me to bother him, doesn't want to share the same room and bed with me. If for any reason we have to share the room he'd either sleep on the floor or on the couch in our bedroom.

16 months ago we had a family gathering where he was forced to come back home and look at me, touch me, smile at me. For him those were bothersome and that irritated him so much.

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