Brooklyn Baby - H.S

Part Thirty Three

Harry's pov –

I don't think I've slept a wink all night, after Delia fell to sleep, I laid her down on the bed with me and had her against my chest, she wouldn't stop crying even after she had fell to sleep, she stopped after around 10 minutes the tears just kept falling.

I still have no idea what happened, seeing her with that blade against her beautiful skin last night killed me, I knew I shouldn't have let her go home alone, I had a gut feeling it was a bad idea once she walked through the doors to her apartment complex.

So I waited, I waited outside for maybe 15 minutes arguing with myself to go home but something told me to stay put, I was about to drive off when she called me.

All I could hear from her sobs and messed up words, all she kept saying was that she was sorry, and it was all her fault, it was almost like she was talking to someone until she mentioned her father.

She kept apologising to him, its all she kept repeating over and over again nothing else, after about a minute of listening I dropped everything and ran up to her apartment, her door was locked which wasn't stopping me, so I kicked it open with all the force I had.

When I finally got into her apartment, her loud sobs we're so clear and broke me even more then they did when I heard them over the phone, I ran through her apartment and that's when I found her.

She looked out of it, she was in a dissociative state when I shouted her, she turned to look at me, but it was as if she was looking straight through me and like I wasn't right in front of her.

I immediately saw the blade and through it across her bathroom, she had only just pinched her skin so there was no permanent damage that she had done to herself.

When I touched her, she flinched which broke me even more, she looked uncomfortable with every hand I lade on her even with how gentle I was being, she looked so broken, and I didn't know how to fix it but to let her cry.

That's when we found ourselves here in her bed, after she fell to sleep, I found myself crying to myself lightly so I didn't wake her, she was in so much pain, she was hurting, and I couldn't do anything.

This girl who I share most of my life with who I... well, who I care very deeply about is hurting and I can't do anything, I felt hopeless, all I can do is try and make every day better for her.

Not baby her, but just be there for her, a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold.

She means a lot to me and she's the only person I've truly cared for in such a long time, I kind of forgot how to care for someone that was in such a vulnerable state.

I cared for my grandmother at the end of her life when she was in a vulnerable state, she needed me there every day, every minute to care for her, after she died that's when I fled to the United States to leave my old life behind.

Which has led me to be in this moment as of right now.

I never knew my parents, they we're crack addicts that we're young when I was born, so caring about people has always been a touchy subject for me, I never wanted to find someone that I could imagine myself being with, I was scared, I didn't want to have children terrified they would end up in the same boat as I am.

Until her.

My life before meeting Cordelia was pointless, I didn't see much of a meaning to life, all I would do was sleep with different girls nearly every night, go drinking and kill people for a living.

I ended up getting carried away at one point, killing people for James seemed like an escape for me, I lost all feel of life and felt like their was nothing else for me so I would make James give me any task he had, everyday it would be a new person.