Coupon collecting villain x reincarnated cannon fodder

Chapter 37

"We now pronounce you husband and wife." The pastor announced and I turned to see the bride. My smile dropped as I turned to see a disgraceful scene.

No, no, no!

This is all wrong!

I froze as I watched that purple haired monster and Sovie holding hands. No, why is he in the groom's position?! Then Audeus turned to me with a gloating smile as he began leaning in to kiss Sovie.

"Sovie!" I turned to see a bleary-eyed Soee standing in the doorway of the kitchen with tears in his eyes.

"W-What's wrong?" I immediately dropped the spatula and went over to him. Although, it was shocking to see him crying first thing in the morning, is it wrong to think he's especially cute right now?

"Y-y-you, you dress, sobs white, sobs demon, you promised." He sobbed, his face turning red as he struggled to breathe through his crying.

"I got married to Audeus in your dream and you're sad because I promised to marry you?" I interpreted with the little information available. He nodded fervently as his tears continued to pour down.

"He ki-kissed you, sobs laughing." He cried while reaching out to me for a hug.

"He laughed at you while trying to kiss me? What a rat." I tried to soothe Soee by putting down his enemy but my plan backfired when I saw Audeus standing in the doorway, looking at me with an expression invoking pity.

I didn't mean it, of course I didn't mean it. But I'm not gonna say that while he's crying. I communicated to him telepathically, all the while knowing that I meant it.

"Ah!" Soee sobbed louder as the object of his nightmare manifested itself before him. "You can't, you can't." He shook his head while pushing me behind him.

I thought Soee would have forgotten that promise by now...

But now I have an excuse to escape from Audeus' touchy claws.

"I guess we can't get ma-" My words were cut off by the clicking of his lunchbox. "W-what's that you got there?" I asked, immediately feeling my mouth watering at the sound alone.

... Drat! I've been trained.

"Y-Your favourite... but if you don't want it, I guess I'll just put it back..." Audeus said with a somber expression as he began closing the lunchbox.

"No! Who said anything about not wanting it? I didn't say that, did you hear me say that? No, I wouldn't have said that." I shook my head fervently as the thick scent of Audeus' homemade fried chicken and gravy wafted over to me.

"Sovie!" Soee tugged on my arm, trying to force me to refocus on the real problem at hand.

"Ah, we won't get married Soee don't worry." I conveyed to Soee half-heartedly, as my attention drifted back to the box of goodness in Audeus' arms.

I mean I'm too young to get married and I've never really thought about marriage anyways.

"Yay!" Soee immediately smiled happily and hugged my waist ecstatically.

"Oh." Audeus looked down-cast as he brutally shoved the lunchbox back into his backpack. "I think I f-forgot to bring lunch today." He smiled brightly towards me with an apologetic expression.

"No, I definitely just sa-" I stared wide-eyes at the backpack in his hand and inhaled deeply to absorb the last of that mouth-watering scent.

"I'm s-so sorry Sovie, I know you were looking forward to eating the d-double-fried fried chicken that's delectably moist on the inside with a extra crispy crust. T-The gravy was made fresh and t-took hours to reduce it down to the strongest most flavourful broth. I even s-specially made you a s-strawberry shortcake with the softest sponge and fluffiest cream to eat afterwards. B-But I can't believe I forgot to bring it." Audeus rambled on, describing the dishes in a way that made my trained tastebuds water.

"N-no, I saw it Audeus. You didn't forget, I assure you that you didn't forget." I shook my head as I pointed towards his backpack. "If you'd just open that and look inside I'm sure you'll see the lunch in there." I smiled worriedly as I felt that Audeus might be upset and my lunch might go untasted.

I watched in anticipation as Audeus unzipped his backpack, reached in and searched around before coming back empty handed.

"It's not in here." Audeus shook his head apologetically. "...I only have this lunchbox for my future wife." He said while pulling out the lunchbox that I had seen just minutes ago.

Soee's grip tightened around my waist and he dug his chin into my shoulder. "You can't Sovie, don't fall for his tricks... I'll make you lunch instead." Soee offered brightly, immediately snapping me out of my trance.

Soee! Offering! Me! A! Home-cooked! Meal!

I had been successfully distracted by Soee's promise to feed me his first home-cooked meal.

A/N: Audeus almost had her there too but he isn't a match for Soee.