Little More Love || Completed

Chapter 37 : Amen

“ It's better to have a nice walk sometimes. ” a sweet alluring smile marks its way upto his bright face. I keep walking while he stops in front of a church.

“ What's up? ”

“ We've reached our destination. ”

Is he insane? Why would he bring me to a church? He knows it very well that I don't believe in God. I used to, once. But what he did to my mother shattered all my faith in him.

“ Hans, you know me too well to having to dare bring me here. ” with my tightly clenched jaws, I hiss.

“ Yes, I know you enough. And that is why I brought you here. ” he smiles. What is like inside his head? No I'm really curious. “ I don't know the reason but I know you have so many grudges against him. You need to clear your mind, love. ”

“ It's my life, and I know it very well what I need to do and what not. You can't force me. You said you won't force me anymore. ” I blurt in amazement.

He has never talked with me about this. Never. Why is he suddenly acting like this?

“ No one's forcing you, love. I'm just asking you to confront what you've been avoiding since only you know how many years. ”

I don't know what to say, or how to react. “ You can stop me if you want to. ” he slips his hand in mine and drags me inside. And I don't know why I don't stop him.

I want to. But I don't.

As we stand on the aisle of the church, I look up at him, “ What you want me to do now? Cry? Scream? Be dramatic? ”

“ No, just sit quietly. Let your silence convey all your emotions, grudges, wishes, hopes to the Almighty. He's listening. ” he takes a seat in the last row, leaving one for me beside him.

Not knowing why, I follow as he says.

“ No matter what you say. You can't force me to built my faith in something, when I don't want to. ” I whisper maintaining the church etiquettes.

As I look on the holy idol of Jesus Christ, I want to be calm inside out but all the memories, pain, complaints, questions come flooded in the back of my mind.

I close my eyes.

Hello, God. Hans has offically lost him mind. But let me tell you I'm gonna to stick to my words. I said I will never talk you again. And I will not.

There's no point talking to you. You never listened to me.

In fact, I know you don't even remember me.

How ironic, I'm the same naive little girl who used to come to you and beg for her mother's life. But it's okay. Now I understand, I was never one of your favorite children. Fair enough.

You know what, I don't want to dig what's buried in the soil of past. I just want to say, like if you really exist somewhere, and if you're listening to me right now...

Keep my father healthy and strong.

And I'm not saying this to show that I'm a so called good daughter, because I'm not. I've never played a single role of a good daughter. But lately I've been having weird dreams of him where he looks senile and sad. He says he wants to see me.