[High school romance]
Bad girl x good boy
"Don't be shy, Boris. If you want me to do something, to do something to you, to touch you the certain way or something else, you should just ask and I'm gladly going to do it. But don't be shy and embarrass...
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I take the bottles of bourbon from the cupboard where my dad holds them, trying to balance them in my arms, and not break them while approaching the kitchen counter. I slowly put all of them on it and glance at them.
You are the only thing that my dad left me.
I groan trying to put my thoughts aside that seem deep, dark, and most importantly sad and painful. I hate that I'm suffering. I'm suffering because my parents left me in this big and lonely house filled with lavish things and multiple empty rooms only to go to Seul on some press conference.
Don't think that I'm a brat. I know they're trying to earn money and make my future easier, and safe. But sometimes I find myself wishing that we were poor, so they can be at home, so we can have dinner, lunch, and breakfast together, no matter how little food we would have. So we can just sit, and pray like a family, holding our hands together, entwined. Then we could chat about our day. But we don't. Every time they are here, I'm either in school or asleep. And then when I come back or wake up, I find a credit card, more money, and a note. A note which always says the same words.
Sorry, we had some business to handle.
Sorry, son, we are not coming to your play.
Sorry, Jason, we had to go on a trip. We'll be back soon.
Lately, I don't even read them, yet just tear them and throw them in the bin.
And today when I came back after Boris dropped me, and refused to come in because he is so obsessed with the moon girl, I found another one of those post-in notes glued to the fridge. I didn't even read it, just saw Seul, and immediately torn it. I squeeze my fist and grip the kitchen counter.
The two of them go to the meetings, eat lunches, dinners whatever their business partners offer them, oh and probably have sex in the most expensive hotels all around the world, and what do I do?
Sit alone. Watch TV alone. Scroll through boring Instagram alone. Sleep alone in my room in the silence, in this big house of which I'm so afraid since it's so lonely and fucking quiet. The truth is that I'm afraid of loneliness and dark. Especially of the dark, since I was a little kid, I always begged mom not to turn off the lamp in my room, since I used to believe that the monsters would devour me. I still believe. And that is why there's always the lamp in my room. But it doesn't help because I'm alone and there's no one to protect me. How childish I sound. But ever since that happened I'm afraid of being alone. But my parents don't seem to care about it and think that the butler will be able to protect me from someone if they try to attack me again.
But, beforehand I told him to go home. He either way just comes to make me food and clean, so what is the point in him being here, when he finished his job? If there are no my parents, then I don't want a fucking butler, either. And if he's around then I can't break things and try to ease the anger while punching the expensive things my parents keep filling this house with. They don't even realize when something is missing because there're too many things in this silent house. No matter how much stuff I break, there is always more to fool my parents, so they can never guess that I'm ruining and demolishing the house in their absence, and butler cleans that so when they come back all the mess is already gone. But the question I want to know the answer to, is what they really think I do in this lonely house? Do they keep that I really go shopping with their credit cards, that I make parties or that I bring girls here? I do none of that.
