Second Choice

Chapter 18

WARINING: MENTIONINGS OF BLOOD AND OTHER POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

No one noticed. They didn't notice me bleeding through my clothes. They didn't noticed my pained expression, they didn't care. School had been cancelled due to a blizzard so I couldn't even go out, I was stuck with him. Only a few doors away from me.

When my mum retured she barely acknowledged my presence, or anyone elses for that matter. She was in a daze of sorts. Like a child who had just entered a candy shop, she was glowing. Towards christmas, she seemed to spread joy and cheer, jordan of course sneakily made my life a misery. As always I forgave him, its not his fault he wasn't wanted as a baby. Jeremiah was the better child, always was, always will be.

On christmas eve, our house was in a flurry. Everyone was hustling everywhere because more family were coming. The Roze residence was going to be packed once more. I was looking forward to seeing my cousins from across the states, we didn't talk much but we were fairly close. Hustling and bustling, May accidentally knocked over one of the pictures and the frame shattered into many little shards.

That was when whatever trance my mum was in finally broke. The glare she gave May would have made the devil cower. After yelling at her, her mum took her upstairs and I gulped, knowing what would happen there. Silently, I sent prayers that the family would arrive in time to save her.

The door rang

I thanked the lord that she was saved as I sweeped up the broken glass shards, No one deserved to get beaten during christmas. They were here. And just like a flip was switched my mother aunt and jordans personalities took a graceful 180 into happy mode. Fake mode, they all pretended they cared and were happy. I slowly tried to walk as normally as possible to greet them. "Jay what happened, why are you limping" one of the girls asked.

"Well, you know how im always clumsy, I tripped and fell awkwardly in ths snow." I laughed trying to sound convincing "im fine don't worry" she raised her eyebrow in disbelief but brought out presents. And just like that the Roze residence was once again disrupting the silence with laughter of children.

***

Christmas was most definitely a busy day. With a ton of family members working away in the kitchens or in the garden no one was free (Except those under 7) it was family tradition to make a huge banquet with an assortment of everything. The under 20's were in charge of the sweet delights to take home and spent time making hundreds of brownies, shortbread, cookies, gingerbread men and cakes for each family to take home. There was no room for error. So who woulda thought when a teen yelled food fight, they all wound up in trouble. The kitchen was a mess, a chaotic mess. Each chuld was sent to clean up while I was made to stay, clean and supervise the food. Personally, I found that unfair but I also didn't really care because I knew It was a long time coming.

What did surprise me though is that I was so distracted by cooking and cleaning that I forgot dinner.mNo one had come to get me. Did they even care? As I took the last of the baked goods out of the oven, I looked around and mentally applauded myself, I did good over the hours. Checking the time on my phone I saw that it was past 8 pm. I looked down and saw how stained my clothes were so I quickly ordered everything and put the food in its desired takeaway basket.

8:15

They would be opening presents soon. I raced upstares and had a quick shower before getting changed to look presentable.

8:45

They couldn't have opened the presents without me. I was so worried about the time that I messed up my hair and had to start again.

8:50

I heard rustling but where were they going? Without me? Had they really forgotten me? I raced downstairs just to trip over and see jordans foot, "what a shame everyone left. Oh my, for once the hippo tried to look nice, too bad your ugly." he sneered "you know what else is funny? The fact that even your own mother wanted to forget you so desperately thatit was her christmas wish. Id say im luing but" he played a recording

"Sis you don't understand, I just wish she could no longer exist, I just wish she died rather than mama. Its too hard to look at her and not see mama. I miss her so much and that wreched child has done nothing to prove her worth to me, " he stopped it and laughed,

"look at how pathetic you are, not even your own mother wants you," tears had started pouring down my face. She hated me. She really hated me. Maybe I should make her xmas wish come true. I would end it all so she could be happy. Knowing deep down it was the right choice I vowed that I would not live to see the new year,

"Oi, have a trash christmas. And by the way Aunty wants the place tidy by the time we are back. And about the presents, open mine first" He laughed then left.

Curiosity got the best of me as I went to my presents. Only a few things, the res was just xmas cards with cash. Theu didn't even have my name on it. Taking a deep breath I opened his present to me and inside I saw rasors. They made me smile. So wide that my mouth started hurting. Turning to the other gifts I realised that they werent actually for me. So of course, cinderella must clean.

I spent the next two hours cleaning the rooms and making sure everything was tidy enough. By the time they got back I was exhausted. I was almost completely asleep with my fresh new scars on my wrist when I heard a "thank you". I didn't even see who it was I was just, asleep.

Finally christmas was coming to an end and there was only a few days to go.