Prevailing Love

Chapter 15

We left the hospital a little while later. It was too hard for all of us. It took a great deal to calm Kelly down. She is completely devastated over what's happened. She's just a little girl, who can't fully grasp everything or the idea of hope, especially when it's her Mom.I thought the pain that I was feeling from everything that happened was significant and horrible, but watching my kids, especially my daughter grieve was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. It's been hard having to deal with my feelings and pain, all while trying to be strong for Kelly and Cooper. It's an unbearable feeling that I truly would never even wish on my worst enemy.

We went out for ice cream after leaving the hospital and finally settling the kids down. I know it wasn't easy for them. The both seemed withdrawn and quiet when we had the ice cream. They slowly picked at their ice cream staring more at the bowl then engaging in any kind of conversation with my dad or myself. I had to wonder if I did the right thing bringing them to the hospital.

It's extremely late. We stayed out longer than we should've, but I wanted to give the kids some kind of peace and normalcy.

"Okay guys," I say closing the door. "It's time to get ready for bed, it's really late. Go into the bathroom and start getting ready for bed. You guys know the drill. I'll be in to tuck you in shortly."

Kelly and Cooper turn around and walk away slowly, neither of them saying anything in return to my request. I watch them walk and it's obvious that their body language and atmosphere has changed since leaving the hospital. They still seem distant and off. It breaks my heart watching them. My heart is so heavy. I still don't know if I did the right thing in bringing them there.

"You did the right thing," my dad says as if he's reading my mind. "bringing them to the hospital."

I shake my head, "I don't know Dad. I've never seen them like this."

"Trust me, you did. I know it may not seem like you did, but in the long run it was the best thing for them."

"If you want or need to talk, know that I'm here. I'm going to go back to the hospital and sit with Steffy for a bit while you tuck the kids and take a few minutes for yourself. I know you are anxious to get back to Steffy, but you still need to take some time for yourself. You've been through a lot too."

"Thanks Dad," I say giving him a hug.

Hearing the kids from the main room, I walk slowly into their room. "I see you guys are all ready set for bed. Thank you for being good listeners." I sit down on the bed. "Did you guys bring a book or two to read at bed time?" I ask.

Cooper nods, before going to a bag in the corner of the room and rummaging through it to find the book. He holds the book up proudly when he finds it. "Come over here and sit down next to me," I say patting the bed beside me.

Kelly and Cooper both climb up on the bed, one on each side of me. "Before we start the book, I want to just make sure you guys are okay? You guys have been very quiet since we left the hospital."

Kelly looks at me before looking down in her lap playing with her hands.

I lift up her chin to look at me. "If there is something you want to say, you can tell me. You can tell me what you are feeling. It's not good to hold things in. Holding things in can make you sick, make your tummy hurt. No matter what, you can always tell me and Mommy what is bothering you. There is nothing that you should ever be fearful in telling us. Nothing you say to us will change how we feel about you."

Kelly sniffs, and licks her lips before finally opening her mouth to speak.

"What is it, sweetie?"