Just Breathe

Chapter 17

*Phil's POV*

Today was clearly not my day, I really did not want to deal with anything but then I see my mother standing outside the hospital room with a disgusted look. "Who are you?" Dan asked looking confused "I'm Melissa Lester, Philip's mother" she said without any emotion, Dan looked at me, he could tell by the look on my face that she was not good news, no one from my family was good news. "Your father is recovering, and once he does he will be sent to prison" she said bitterly "Good, he deserves what he's getting" I wasn't afraid of her, I was done being scared of these people. "You watch your fucking mouth" she spat. I opened my mouth to say something but remembered that Anthony was still in the room, I didn't want him hearing any of this, he's just a kid with his own troubles "Anthony go to your mom, we'll be out in a bit okay?" I said softly "But Phil.." he started "You should listen to Phil, don't worry we will be with you in a bit and then we can do something alright?" Dan smiled at him "Okay Dan.." He sighed leaving the room, we stared at my mum, she looked at us with cold eyes "And who might this be?" She asked her eyes on Dan, I grabbed his hand protectively "He is my fiancé" I said, her cold serious expression turned into a cold horrible laugh "You are going to marry that? A worthless cancer patient?" I rolled my eyes at her comment, its not the first time I heard that from a family member "This is why Frankie was my favorite, he wasn't a fag" she added that seemed to have gotten Dan pissed "Yeah he definitely wasn't a fag that's why he wanted to fuck me so bad" he said coldly "Don't you dare speak lies about my son" she said coldly "Frankie was a horrible person, he threatened me and Dan and so did your husband" I said "They were awful people Melissa" I called both my parents by their names, they were never parents to me they never cared for me so why should I respect them but she hated it "You dare call your mother by her name?" She said angrily walking towards me "A fucking terrible mother" I added, she lifted her hand and slapped me hard across the face, I felt my cheek sting like crazy, Dan moved her back and stood in front me "He's a grown up he's not a fucking child he doesn't need this crap from you" he shouted "This is family matter, you do not speak" she said pointing at him which got me more mad than her slapping me "Dan is my only family, you do not speak to him like that" I stared at her coldly. I was filled with anger, my family did nothing but make me feel worse about all this "You're a disappointment to this family" she spat "How is he a disappointment? He's a wonderful and kindhearted man even with what he's going through" Dan said defensively "No Dan its fine" I cut in "Them saying I'm a disappointment to them just means I'm a decent human being, so I'm glad I'm nothing like them" she raised her hand again but this time Dan grabbed her wrist "Don't fucking touch me" she said pulling her arm away "Unless you want to join your husband in prison in a few days then I'd rather not" Dan said coldly, with that she turned away and stormed off. "Let's go home Dan" I sighed, he wheeled me out of the room to Emily and Anthony "Everything okay? Anthony said there was a rude lady in your room?" She asked confused "It was my mother, but don't worry about her" I smiled awkwardly "Phil can I sit in your chair with you?" Anthony asked jumping up and down, I nodded laughing at his energy, Dan helped him sit on my lap and then wheeled us to the car.
When we got home Emily made dinner as a thank you for everything as she was moving into her new apartment tomorrow. After dinner I played video games with Dan and Anthony "Dan you're awful at these games" Anthony laughed "No I'm not!" Dan laughed "You really are Dan, I've lost count on how many times I've beat you" I added, he poked me in the ribs "you're all trash talk Phil Lester" he said "No he's speaking the truth, you really suck at this" Anthony giggled,Dan stuck his tongue out at us. "Okay Anthony bed time" Emily said coming downstairs "A few more minutes mom?" He whined "Its really late, you need your rest" she said picking him and carrying him upstairs. Dan went to the kitchen to give Lilly her food which was a big challenge, I wheeled myself there to watch and laughed at him struggling "She's so cute" I said "Yes and a handful she always wants to play" he added. After he got her to eat he handed her to me, she was finally out of energy and curled up into my lap, I softly scratched her head which she seemed to love "I feel like a parent" I smiled, Dan leaned over and kissed my cheek softly "Then we are parents and she is our baby" he said softly.
"You look tired" Dan said setting me down onto the bed "Yeah I'm tired but not sleepy" I said "You need to try to sleep, you've had a long day" he said laying down next to me and pulling me close so my head was rested on his chest, I looked up at his face, I just felt so safe with him, I love him so much, there was something I haven't told him it was like a weight on my chest I needed to tell him. "What's wrong?" He asked concerned "Dan there's something I need to tell you about my past, something I haven't really told anyone" I said softly "You have you can tell me anything" he whispered moving my hair from my eyes, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath "When I was diagnosed with cancer, I tried killing myself.." Dan's soft expression turned into concern "But why? Was it because of your family?" He asked, I nodded "They threw me out, I stayed with a friend and he found me and took me to a hospital and never spoke to me again" I explained "Are you still, you know?" He asked not wanting to use the word "Suicidal? I was until I met you, before that all I wanted to do was die but then you came along and you loved me and made me feel alive" I whispered "I wanted to tell you but I didn't want you thinking any less of me" Dan lifted my chin so my face was close to his and pressed his lips on mine softly "I don't think any different of you, I love you so much" he intertwined our fingers "I have something I need to tell you too, I have a confession" I looked at him confused, he told me about my ex what more could there be "I told you about my friends, they aren't good friends. They got me to do terrible things and I had to pay for those terrible things" he said quietly "What kind of terrible things?" I asked "I told them about what my ex did to me hoping they'll help me get out of the situation, but they got me into drugs and said that it'll help me and I took it.." His voice was getting shaky, he had tears in his eyes "One of them got caught and he put the entire blame on me and I got arrested" I was honestly shocked "How long were you in prison for?" I asked "For three months, I told them the truth about my ex and that's the reason I got into it and they arrested him and sent me to rehab so I can get help" he whispered "Do you um, still get urges?" I asked "Yeah sometimes, they said those urges will bug me for a while but I have to fight them, I got rid of all the drugs and I fight the urge" there was a moment of silence, neither of us knew what to say I kissed him quickly but passionately "What was that for?" He asked "So you know that I won't judge, and I love you no matter what" I said, he gave me a small smile "But Dan, you're perfect and beautiful, I don't ever want you harming your body like that okay?" I said and he nodded "I'm trying my best for you" he whispered nuzzling my neck and tickling me "I'm serious Dan" I laughed "I know, don't worry like I said I'm trying my best for you, I'd do anything for you" he said kissing my neck and pulling me close to him "I love you so much" I whispered resting my head on his chest "I love you too babe" he said playing with my hair until the both of us fell asleep.