Thunder

Drunk

(Flash back)
"Why don't you listen ..boy?!" Slowly she circles the pathetic excuse of a boy whose kneeling on the ground. Scars on his back and shoulders. He's wearing ragged looking jeans with holes in them and no shirt . The newer scars slightly red while the brand new one are bleeding. She stares at me with anger and something more then that ... I don't really understand. But I know to keep my eyes down and let her . Somedays she's giving me this weird feeling and others it a gut wrenching feeling and I can't do anything about it. "Answer me when i talk " squatting down in front of me . Her hand comes up . Oh God she's gonna hit me , I can't flinch , I just can't. She'll hit me more if I flinch. Flinching is a sign of emotions and showing emotion is not right. "Answer me " her hand coming up and grasping my jaw. Her nails slowly digging in , forcing me to look at her in the eyes. "I'm sorry" i quickly look down already knowing my mistake. "Umm" her lips press together. An unsettling feeling in my gut. the belt in her right hand gently slapping the palm of her left hand . Getting up she circles me . Her heels clicking on the wood floors . Than all the sudden they stop. And she's out of my vision. I dare not to look for her, or she'll come back a thousand times worse. "Boy... Your a poor crapy excuse for a man" her hells getting louder as she approaches me. I know what's coming next. I'll have to hide the pain from my family , friends, and my dad. God I wish he was here. The drunken fool can't even stay here for a week anymore. But he treats me nice even though he leaves me . He doesn't know what she does to me . Only once did he ever question what's wrong , I lied and said I got in a fight to protect my friend . I won but I still got a black eye. That day he was proud of me , for standing up and doing what's right. That day I also got hurt in karate. I still remember him bring me to his office at work. It had a couch and everything. I was at soccer practice and a kid threw me against the the wire fence . I blacked out and my dad brought me to his office . I woke up to being on the couch a bandage wrapped around me and my shirt off. That day he saw my other scars."
(End flash back)

"KEITH ?!" A cautioning..quivering voice finally snaps be back to reality. It's been two weeks and I'm finally home .. We're finally home . Just me and Sam for today. She's across from me on the other side of the coffee table sitting in on the couch . The last thing I remember is her saying 'boy..your a poor crapy excuse for a man' and looking down , than looking back at me. Sam sat their perfectly quite for 22 minutes. Aimlessly bitting her bottom lip. She was nervous and scared. "Keith... I'm so sorry.. Are you ok... I didn't mean it .." Speaking quick but cautiously, carefully breathing like the next word depended on her life. My hair was a mess, my body sloped over . My feet on the ground but my arms resting on my knees. My eyes puffy and I looked like I haven't slept for days.
(Flash back)
"Your drunk aren't you?!" Sam slowly walking to the couch. She'd been downstairs with Simon. I didn't mind her hanging out with Simon , they acted to much like siblings to ever get me worried. But I still kept an eye on Simon ... "None of your fucking business". I lowly growl at her. She's never seen me like this. She has to go before I do something fucked up. I can feel her body tightening up.But she continues. Slowly she walks to the other side of the room and sits on the couch. She looks at me with fear and worries. " I said leave " I snarl at her , circling my glass of scotch. Not a movement from her. And at this state i really don't have control over what my mouth says. " Emma and Max are coming back in 5 days and you look like .... Well.... boy..your a poor crapy excuse for a man! To be honest!" (End of flash back)

"Sam" I whisper, my voice foggy and cracked. I can't look at her right now. She can't see the emotions. "What happened Keith? What did I do ?" A small whisper from her lips , I can't tell she was crying the way her breaths were staggered. I can't tell her. It's none of her business. "Nothing.. Didn't I tell you to go the fuck away ? " my deep husky voice mumbles out. I gulp down the last of that drink. It's the first time I've ever been this drunk. My eyes glaring at Sam . She's worried and I don't know what to do . So I close my eyes and bow my head. Let the drunkenness take over me .. Cause right now I don't know if I can take anymore.

(Flash back )

"Dad?!" My drunken dad was the most I've ever seen him this drunk. It's all my fault. I should have never been born . Than my parents would be together. He's drunk have the time he comes over. The woman never noticed it but I can faintly smell it on him. Many people say I look like him when he was younger and free. I dot get what they mean by free . Free like ... Well I don't understand. The man in front of me was at his office. He wasn't my dad. He looked like he hasn't slept for days , or shaved . It concerned me. I've never seen my old man that drunk. "Get me another glass" he mumbles as I head to his desk. His voice cold and husky. Just like the woman's. It's a dark brown desk with a comfy black leather office chair behind it. Leaning over he's looking out the two way window. A Mirror on the outside, window on the inside. "Dad.. Your drunk " . A can hear him rattle the remaining alcohol and ice in his glass. I keep my eyes down. I don't want to see him. I want to remember him as something more. I don't want him to see me. And take his anger out on me . My eight year old body just stood their frozen. Staying quite I'd hope he forgot about me ."I gave you a fucking order now do it!" He grumbles out. My eyes widened , he's never yelled at me . Well not this bad. The woman has done it worse and right now the emotional reck of me doesn't want to hide. My dad never officially divorced the woman.... Yet I stayed with her . I would be lucky if I got to see him . Weekends and that's it. Unless she had a plan for me. " yes sir" . My eyes go down as now my head my voice getting shy and to a point of a whisper. He loves me I swear he does. God I don't really deserve love , or that's what the woman says. Love is an evil cruel thing that destroys your life in blink of an eye if you let it. Love is what happens when you let your guard down. There's a liquor cabinet in his closet. Right in inside a safe. '91-64-87'. "KEITH your better have your ass over hear in 3" no..no..no. Not him . He can't be her. He can't be the woman. Not both of them . "
(End flash back)

No emotions .... No pain.... No love... No heartache. " Keith?" A small faintly heard word escapes from sam's mouth. Her body all shriveled up in a huddle position. Her arms draped around her knee hugging it with all her might. Her teeth slowly sinking hard into the bottoms lip. She's in the corner. Tears running down her eyes. They slightly close and than some. Tighter and tighter they close as I look at her . A red hand print on her face. Her lovely face was hurt. Another print on her right arm. Nail marks . ....... What have I done ?