Assassins Don't Need Friends ||Hisoka X Illumi||

Thirty

Illumi's pov

  I looked down at myself and let out a quiet laugh. I was a joke. Just a few days ago, I felt as if Hisoka loved me as if his reason for being with me wasn't just so he could fight me. I was wrong. That's all he ever wanted to do, get me to trust him, let all my walls fall down, allow him in. Then he attacks. But I'm no better. I would have done the same thing.

  I punched a wall and felt tears falling down my cheeks. I was crying? Why was I crying? I was the one who got myself in this situation with my stupid emotions. Why the fuck was I allowing myself to cry? I didn't actually love him, did I?

  I did. I loved Hisoka with my whole heart, using him to patch up the wound Killua made when he rejected me. I laughed again, throwing my head back and clawing at my skin. That's all I was good for, wasn't it? Being hated, beaten, and used until I wasn't needed anymore. Then I would be left alone again.

  I didn't want to fight Hisoka. I wouldn't give him that pleasure. He hurt me. He broke my heart, and I was the one who had to put it back together.

  I still had tears streaming down my face when Hisoka came out of the bathroom. He smirked when he saw me and threw his arms around my shoulders.

  "My, my, Illumi. You're such a mess. It's almost disgraceful," he said in a low and seductive voice.

  I kept my face still as I pushed him away. "I'm not going to fight you, Hisoka. You have hurt me, but I don't have enough anger to die in this stupid game of yours."

  He narrowed his eyes and stepped away from me, then gave a smirk that made my blood run cold. "Then I should say sorry for what I may do in the future to get you angry."

  I watched as he pulled on clothes, picking up the suitcase as he left my room. He slammed the door shut behind him, and I sank to my knees in a pile of my clothes. I closed my eyes and cried, feeling the emotion leave my body with each tear. Memories of our time spent together rushed through my head, every thought, every touch, every good day, every bad day. Everything. But now it was ruined.

  A few months ago I would have been happy to fight him to the death, but now I can't bring myself to hurt him, despite him hurting me. I was a fool.

  I stayed curled up on the floor for the rest of the day and didn't move once it became dark. I stood up the next day and threw on some clothes over my wounded skin. I didn't bother taking a shower, I wasn't in the mood. I picked up my clothes and put them away. I left my room quietly, walking towards the forest surrounding the mansion. I was about to open the large doors when my mother stopped me.

  "I'm disappointed, Illumi," she said sternly. "We all had such high hopes for you, but now you're nothing more than a bad example towards your siblings. I'm just glad that Killua didn't have to see how much of a failure you've become."

  I turned around and left the mansion, not saying anything. As soon as I stepped outside, I ran. I didn't know where I was going to, but I forced the thoughts out of my head, leaving my mind blank and empty. I saw the testing gate through the trees and ran towards them. I had to go back to the arena to get my stuff, then I would go away, somewhere no one would find me. Not Hisoka, not my parents, not even Killua. It would just be me.

  My phone started to ring, and I answered it, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

  "Hello?" I said in a calm voice.

  "Oh, Illumi," it was Hisoka. "I didn't expect you to answer."

  "What do you want?" I growled.

  "Come to the arena, I have something that will make you reconsider fighting me," he said in a low voice.

  I ended the call, his words leaving a deep pit in my stomach, and ran towards the airport, not caring who saw me. It wouldn't matter. I was sure to be dead soon anyway.

  The flight was boring, and I ended up looking out of the window, remembering the last time I did that with Hisoka. I punched myself in the head, forcing those memories out of my mind. I didn't need them. They were just going to get in the way.

  The airship landed, and I went straight towards the arena. Whatever Hisoka had to show me, it better be important. I made my way to the 200th floor, not allowing myself to get distracted by anyone else. My thoughts were focused on leaving Hisoka. That's all I cared about right now.

  When I got to the room, I found Hisoka waiting for me, smirking.

  "What is it that you wanted to show me?" I asked in a cold voice.

  His bloodlust filled the room, and he gestured to the living room. I followed him in but stopped when I saw the scene laid out before me.

  The room was dark, but I saw the scene before me clearly. There was blood, and lots of it, everywhere. The walls were cracked and covered in blood, the couch was pushed out of the way and the table was smashed to pieces. I knew what the heap in the middle of the room was, but I stopped myself from looking at it, not wanting to face the truth. Hisoka wouldn't do that. He wouldn't.

  "Go on," he said, pushing me towards the mangled form.

  I sank to my knees, feeling empty and defeated. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. It couldn't be. It wasn't true. But deep down, I knew it was.

  With shaking hands, I gently brushed the white hair that was covered in blood. Tears were falling down my cheeks, but not from anger this time. This time it was pure sadness. I clutched the mangled body to my chest, rocking him back and forth. I could feel my heart breaking all over again, causing the tears to fall out of my eyes harder.

  Hisoka crouched down in front of me, grabbing my face. He had a sick and twisted smile on his face, and for the first time in my life, I hated the man.

  "Oh dear, Illumi. It seems as if your precious little Killua has had an accident. What a shame."

  I looked into his golden eyes, not saying anything. He then continued. "I can't believe you loved him. It made you weak, and now look at you."

  I felt no anger, only emptiness as I continued to cry, my tears falling onto my dear brother's corpse. "I'll kill you," I muttered. "I won't give you the fight you want, but I will hunt you down and kill you."

  He just laughed at that, pushing me away. "It's fun to see you so unsettled, but your reaction isn't as good as how I imagined. It's a shame, I thought you would be better than that, my love. I guess I have to kill everyone you care about until I get the reaction I want."

  I turned and saw him leave the room laughing. I carefully picked Killua up, not wanting to let him go. I pulled his phone out of his pocket and found Gon's number. I texted him.

  Illumi: Gon?

  Gon: yeah, Killua?

  Illumi: I'm so sorry. There was an accident in room 345. This isn't Killua. It's Illumi.

  Gon didn't text back, and I gently placed Killua on the couch. I saw that he had a card stuck in his chest and I carefully pulled it out and put it in my pocket. I took one last look around the room and kissed my brother's head. Tears fell down my cheeks as I jumped out of the window and onto the roof of the neighbouring building, feeling Gon's presence as he entered the room. I heard a faint scream and I squeezed my eyes shut, running away from the arena.

  "I'm going to find you, Hisoka," I whispered to myself. "And when I do, I'm going to make sure your death is slow and painful."