The New Girl (WWE FanFic) #WATTYS2015

Chapter 38 - Two Minds

I stood backstage on my own by a small monitor that was showing the stage. Roman was about to go out there and I wanted to watch him in peace without anyone bothering me with stupid questions or stories. I wanted today to solely be about him and his fighting. After all, he’d been so happy for me when I’d got my storyline and told him I’d being doing a piece on Raw so it was only fair for me to return that favour and watch his piece on Main Event. There wasn’t a huge match to get into, he was just going out there to spout some promotional stuff and get in a quick altercation with Daniel Bryan. It was an easy one for him today.

“Lucy?” I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. Obviously people were going to choose to ignore the fact I was hiding back here to get away from everyone.

“Yeah?” I said, half-assed as I turned round to be greeted with the grinning face of Frenzy. “Frenzy?” I laughed. “What are you doing here?” She walked up to me and we hugged. My brain cursed me for not keeping in contact with her better.

“Got my first match tonight!” She beamed. “I’m about to step into the public eye! Let’s hope I’m as successful as you, eh?” She punched me in the arm jokily.

“Of course you will, Frenzy!” I laughed. “Well good luck! Who are you fighting tonight?” Her smile dropped and her facial expression changed to one of anger.

“Summer.” She said. “I finally got what I wanted.” She referred back to the problem they had right at the beginning, when we were in the canteen. That seemed like so long ago to me, so much had happened since then.

“Well, I hope you kick her butt like we said!” I laughed, reminiscing.

“I’ll do more than that, don’t you worry!” She smiled again. “So how come you’re standing out here like a loner?” She said, looking in both directions to see if I was with anyone.

“I’m just here to watch Roman.” I shrugged. “He’s been so supportive of me and this storyline I’m in at the moment; I had to repay the favour.”

“So you and Roman are…” She nodded at me with a childish smile on her face. I laughed and nodded back.

“We’re a couple yes.”

“But what about you and Seth?” I jolted upright, sucking in a sharp breath. How did she know about Seth and I? No-one could. My palms were sweaty. I must look really suspect right now. We always made sure it was a private place. We hadn’t told anyone. It was a secret. “You know, cos they made you kiss in that storyline.” She finished and relief washed over me.

“Oh right!” I laughed nervously. “Well, we’re just friends. Just friends who have had to kiss on TV.” I said, the lie now falling off my tongue easily.

“That’s cool. Was Roman alright with it?” She asked. I shook my head.

“No, but we spoke about it and I reassured him that was all it was. Just a kiss.” I said like it was common knowledge. Please can we change the subject.

“Hey, Roman’s on the TV. I’ll let you watch it! My match will be on soon anyway!” She laughed and we hugged goodbye before she took off towards her dressing room. I watched Roman’s music play and the crowd cheered as he walked down the stairs that went through the crowd. They all patted him on the arm or shoulder as he walked down and into the ring, grabbing a microphone. The camera zoomed in on his sinister face and I smiled. I loved it when he was in character; this kickass no-nonsense bad-ass who would knock down every person who got in his way – a far cry from who he is as a person. At the moment he is sensitive and scared, worried he is losing me to Seth which I’m trying to make sure doesn’t happen. But so far I’m losing that fight.

“Hey.” It was as if God had read my mind and planted him right there, wanting to see what I’d do. This must have been a test.

“Hi Seth.” I said, not turning round. I kept my eyes glued to the screen as I watched my boyfriend talk about his confidence in winning the title at TLC.

“How are you?” He tried to strike up conversation but I didn’t answer. I wasn’t mad at him, I didn’t hate him… I hated myself. Once again I’d lost sleep thinking about Seth and this kiss – well the three of them now. God I was heartless. I’d seen how lost and upset Roman had been losing this other girl and here I was; loving him to his face and cheating on him behind his back. I had to end this now before it got to serious. I had to tell Seth I wanted nothing to do with him unless it was a storyline. “Lucy?” He asked again and I slowly turned round to look at him.

“I need to talk to you.”  I grabbed his arm and stormed down to an empty room, where I threw him in quickly and locked the door behind me as soon as I got in. Hopefully no one saw us.

“What the hell?” Seth said, brushing himself down.

“I can’t do this anymore, Seth.” I cried out instantly rubbing my hands over my face. “I can’t do us. I can’t do the lying to Roman, the secret kisses and all the lies I have to tell everyone. I can’t do it.”

“But you are doing it.” He said simply, his face showing no expression. “We both know there’s a spark there. I’ve noticed it every time we’re in a room together, yet you chose to kiss Roman when I came to talk to you.” Anger built up inside me. I’d forgotten about that lie Roman had said. He ran into that room and kissed me, I didn’t kiss him. I was waiting for Seth to come and speak to me! “Then we had a chat and once again, you two sent me away so you could kiss each other.”

“I didn’t send anyone anywhere!” I whispered harshly. “That was all Roman and his stupid ideas and look where that’s all ended up now!” I slapped my hand over my mouth and cursed. Why did I have to open my big mouth? If Roman hadn’t have run in that day and kissed me, I’d have just spoken to Seth and he would have told me his feelings and we probably would have just dated but NO. Roman had to run in and kiss me and make me develop feelings for him too.

“So what happened then?” Seth said, his arms crossed and his foot tapping on the floor. “Come on.” He urged. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

“He made me promise.” I said, knowing I couldn’t hide it from him anyone. “The day you came to speak to me but got pulled away by Mark, Roman ran in and confessed his feelings to me and kissed me. I didn’t know you liked me and so I just kissed him back. I’d fallen for him a little anyway after helping him get over that stupid girl.” I leant back against the wall. “Then when you stormed off, Roman told me he was going to chase after you and put whatever nonsense in your head and he told me I had to go along with it to save ‘The Shield’.”

“That’s fucking bullshit!” Seth shouted, slamming his fist against the wall. “All this fucking time and he was behind the whole thing?”

“I never said I didn’t have feelings for you Seth. I felt those sparks too. You were there when Roman walked out on me at that hotel room when we played truth or dare, I know. But no matter what has happened, I can’t keep cheating on him with you.” I regretted those words as soon as they came out of my mouth. My body craved him and thought about him so much more than Roman. The more Roman got angry and assumed me and Seth had something going on, the more I thought about how he put me in a mess when he kissed me and made everyone think it was my fault, the more I wondered what the point of me and Roman was. Was it just going to keep being a constant quest to prove I loved Roman or would he ever get over it and let me hang out with guys and not get suspicious?

“Fine. If that’s what you want, I respect that but it’s going to be a lot harder for me than it is for you, obviously.” Seth said, looking down at the floor. “I really do like you, Lucy.” He walked towards the door and unlocked it. “Sorry I cant control my feelings as much as you want me to.” He opened it and began to walk away. My heart felt like it was breaking, like it was shattering into tiny pieces. No matter what I tried to tell myself, I did want him. I needed him.

“Wait!”