The mafia ball.

25|I Killed Her

"scusa papà," I mumbled. I still wasn't very good at Italian but I've been working really hard. I've been hiding under my blanket at night with my torch, practicing. Daddy will yell at me if he caught me.

"fuori dalla mia vista." He waved me away, turning his head.
{get out of my sight}

I shuffled off as fast as I could. Daddy can be really scary sometimes but mummy says he still loves us.

I send a kick to the bag and another and another. I punch it as if it will rid me of the memories-no nightmares created by him. I blame him for this, for the nights I wake up screaming or sweating. For my trust issues. I blame him.

I try to silence my cry's as I cover my ears from the screaming. So many people are screaming and I don't like it. They always scream and then they suddenly stop. Mumma always said to ignore them but it's hard when that's all I hear.

"Oh, bubba." I look up to see Maria frowning at me.

My lip wobbles as I look at her with tears eyes. Her soft hands cup my cheeks, wiping away my tears. She pulls me into a hug and I cling onto her jumper for dear life.

"Why won't they stop?" I sniffle, hiding my head on her shoulder.

She rubs my back up and down. Mumma used to do that but daddy said I'm too old to have cuddles. So she stopped. But Maria didn't.

"I don't know, bubs. Hey, why don't we sing a song?" She smiles at me and I nod even though I don't like singing.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." She sends me a smile as she rocks me back and forward. "You make me happy when skies are grey."

"That's me!" I smile. She laughs shaking her head.

"Yeah, it is. You'll never know dear, how much I love you." I flinch when a really loud scream comes from downstairs. Maria hugs me close and puts her hands over my ears.

"Please don't take my sunshine away." I barely hear her whisper.

Screams aren't something that frightens me anymore. I grew familiar with them quickly, they're part of me now. As a kid, when Maria would hold me close at night, the screams were always the worst at night. Maria made the screams become quiet, muffled as if they were never there. I once asked her where they came from and who was screaming, but she would just smile at me and shake her head. Now looking at it it wasn't a happy smile, she pitied me, herself, and the situation we were in. But soon I faced the bitter reality and was given all the answers I wanted. At seven, my father took me to where the screams began and ended. That night he took me there, was when I became the Grayson Blackwell. I didn't cry, I merely stared at the innocent woman who begged for her life. My father took no pity and shot her in front of me. Then he turned to me and demanded I kill her.

I did.

I killed her.

I lost my appetite for weeks and that's when my nightmares began, they haven't stopped since.

I blame every. Single. Moment. On him.

I let out an animalistic scream and pushed myself away from the punching bag. My breaths come out harsh and labored, sweat coating my skin. Because of my anger, I was distracted and was unaware of another presence in the room, when a crash had me surprised turning around to see Elizabeth frozen by a stack of weights that have now fallen to the floor.