Don't Hurt Me

Chapter 40

Sam calls me up a few days after my talk with Rob. He's excited and happy, announcing to me that he's gotten into Longwood University.

"Where's that?" I ask.

"Virgina, you dope."

"Oh."

"It's not that far. I could come back to Callville a lot."

I cringe at the thought of Callville, of that strange place becoming my new home. "Yeah, sure. Congrats."

"Yeah, I'm going to be taking Communication Studies."

"Communication Studies?"

"Mmhmm."

"What the hell can you do with that? Why would you pick that?"

"Why not?" he defends himself. "It sounded interesting to me."

I just sigh.

"You and Rob should start thinking about what you want to do in college."

"That's still a long way away."

"Not really. Three years sounds like a long time, but it's not. It'll fly by before you know it."

Three more years, all of which will be spent at Callville. I make a face.

"Look, uh, anyway, I was thinking of taking you and Rob out today."

"For what?"

"To celebrate."

"Celebrate? Longwood's not that great," I quip, giggling when I hear the insulted noise he makes.

"I'm going to college and that's all that matters."

"Fine. Whatever."

"Rob's meeting me in an hour at Joe's Pizza. You gonna be there?"

"You treating us?"

"Yeah."

"You have money?"

"Yeah. I've got money."

"From where?"

"Did some jobs for my friends' parents."

"Really? That's good."

"Yeah, well, I was tired of being dead-broke. Especially if I want to ask girls out."

"If you want to make it through college, you're probably going to have to keep doing a bit of work."

"Yeah, I know," he groans. "So are you coming or not?"

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Good."

I end up being the last one to reach the pizzeria. My brothers are already there, picking at barbecue wings.

"We already ordered," Sam tells me, flipping a pale lock out of his eye. "Pepperoni."

"The only one we can agree on," Rob reminds me. "He tried to get Hawaiian."

"You know I hate pineapples," I turn on Sam.

"They're good for you."

"So are olives."

"Oh, yuck!"

"OK, OK," Rob interrupts, his hands flying up. "Enough already. Sit down. Eat."

"You'd think that a man going off to college could have his favorite pizza," Sam mumbles.

"You're going to college," I answer. "Not war."

"I'm paying for this."

"You should pay for my time here."

"Shut up," Rob comments. "I didn't come out here to listen to you two argue. I hear enough of that at Billy's house."

"Yeah, Alex's house isn't that peaceful either."

Sam and Rob glance at me, and I know from the looks in their eyes what's going through their heads. They are thinking about how they don't really like staying at their friends' houses after all. No matter how comfortable it is, and no matter how welcomed they are, it will never be anything close to a home. Even with the stuff going on between our parents all those years, at least there was something about that house that made it ours. But now it's gone. The Conroy house might as well have been blown to bits - that would have been no worse than another family being in it.

The pizza arrives then, and we perk up, digging in.

"Seriously, though, Sam, as happy as you are about this Longwood, you're really going to have to think about how you're going to pay for it," I pipe up.

He stares at me, looking peeved. Obviously, he didn't want me to ruin his moment by bringing up the subject of money.

"Did you try applying for financial aid?"

"I did. Mom asked me to. But it was turned down."

"Well, you're going to have to support yourself."

"Mom'll help me."

"It won't be enough."

"I'll figure something out."

"Sam, it's not that easy. And do you really think that's fair, using Mom's money like that? She needs to survive too, you know. We all do."

Rob opens his mouth, obviously eager to try and break up another argument before it starts. But he's not quick enough.

"So what, I shouldn't go to college?" Sam asks, eyes narrowed.

"I didn't say that."

"It sure sounded like that."

"I'm just saying maybe you should think about everyone else and not just yourself for once."

"That's not what I'm doing. Is it, Robbie?"

Rob's eyes enlarge. "Uh …. " A long pause. Then a flicker of a smile, along with nervous knuckle-cracking. "Well, you know, I'm happy for you, Sam, about this college thing."

I glare at my twin. Chicken, I think, annoyed that I've been set aside like this.

"So," Rob continues. His voice sounds a bit forced. I know he wants to change the subject. "I checked out the house."

Sam is interested. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I saw the new family. They're making a lot of changes to the place."

"What changes?"

"Well, they're doing up the yard, and they changed the front door, and they're giving the house a new coat of paint."

"Small stuff," Sam opines, but I feel uncomfortable. I saw the changes those people made, and I still haven't gotten used to them. The idea of our house being altered, tainted is nearly enough to make me run right over there and chase that family out. It's not their fault, but then … I don't know. I guess maybe I want it to be someone's fault. Then at least I'll have something to take my anger out on.

"And nobody knows what happened to you-know-who?" I ask.

Rob lifts a brow. "This is the second time you asked about him. Why do you care?"

"I don't."

Sam clears his throat. "I told Mom about the sale of the house, and she asked me the same thing."

"She knows about it?"

"She knows."

"Was she upset?"

"Not really. She said, and I quote 'He can have it'."

"Huh."

"We shouldn't be wasting our time worrying about him. We should be worrying about ourselves. Speaking of which, have you two decided? Are you gonna move?"

Rob eyes me. "Looks like we are."

"Really? That's great!" Rob and I are surprised at how much Sam lights up. I guess that as selfish and self-absorbed as he can be, he still loves his brother and sister. "Mom will be happy."

But not us, I think to myself. Never us.