Don't Hurt Me

Chapter 26

It's late at night when Josh pulls up outside my house. I let out a sigh, leaning back in my seat. "Finally. A bed and a shower. And food! No, wait. There's never any food in our fridge .... " I trail off, aware of Josh smiling at me. "Well. I guess I'll see you," I tell him, reaching for my backpack.

"OK." Briefly, he brushes a hand across mine. I'm not sure why.

I climb out of the car, watching as he drives away. The house is dark and silent, but as I'm going up the stairs, someone's door opens. I turn to stone, thinking immediately of my father. I stand there near the top, making out a figure coming towards me.

"Clare?" Sam's voice drifts through the shadows.

I let myself relax, taking the last few steps up. I gesture to my room, and Sam fetches Rob. A minute later, we are standing in the safety of my bedroom - me exhausted, the two of them anxious to hear what I have to say. Santa is lounging on the corner of my bed. He has a bored expression as he watches us.

"Clare, what happened?" Sam asks impatiently. I figure Rob told him everything, as I knew he would.

"I was right," I tell them, although I don't feel as proud about it as I expected to. "She's there."

"She's with Gran?" Sam sounds astonished, but not just that. He sounds hurt. Betrayed, which is just what I felt. "Is she OK?"

"She's fine." Well, physically, at least. Mentally speaking, I'm not so sure. Perhaps the stress of everything finally got to her, and this was some kind of nervous breakdown. Sometimes, people don't mean to hurt us but just aren't strong enough to protect us from it.

"What is she doing there?"

"She said she needed to get away," I tell them quietly.

There is a pause. I know my brothers understand what I mean. Mom is a troubled person. Depressed. Full of regret about how her life turned out. "She said she needs to be alone."

Sam's pale eyeleashes flutter as he blinks at me. "When is she coming back?"

"She doesn't know."

"What?"

"When I was over there ... it didn't seem like she wanted to come back."

Sam makes a sound of disbelief. "That's bull. What about her job? What about us?"

I shake my head helplessly. I don't know what to say. Rob comes over to me, his face a tight frown. "Clare, are you sure?"

"Damn sure."

"Did we do something wrong? Or did something happen between her and Dad?"

"I don't think so, Rob. I don't think it's any one thing. I think it's all of it. I think it's all of us."

"Don't say that," Sam exclaims, eyeing me. "I don't believe a word of it."

"Sam, I was there - "

"We have to do something. We have to get her back."

"Haven't you been listening to me? She wants to be alone. She made that perfectly clear to me. I couldn't convince her to come back and neither could you."

"So we're just supposed to leave her there? What are we going to do without her? What are we going to do for money?"

"We've still got some savings," Rob reminds us. "Maybe we can live on that for a while until she works things out. I'm sure she's just stressed out and she'll come back once she's OK again."

"You think so?" Sam asks, his face shadowing with uncertainty.

"Yeah."

"This would be a lot easier if only Dad was working," I mutter.