Don't Hurt Me

Chapter 26

"Shit," Rob goes. "What are we going to tell him? If we tell him about Mom, he'll go ballistic."

Sam snickers darkly. "Yeah. He'd probably run over there and drag her out of the house by her hair."

"I don't think we should let him know," I put in. "At least, not yet."

"He's pretty messed up over this, you know," Rob tells me.

"I know."

"It's almost like he cares about her," Sam remarks.

"Maybe he does," Rob says. "In his own crazy bastard, nutjob way."

"Yeah, right." Sam turns his back. "I'm gonna call her."

"She won't talk to you," I insist.

"We'll see." He walks out of the room, and Rob turns to me, grim-faced.

"We should get to sleep. I'm sure you're tired. We can ... talk somemore tomorrow."

"OK."

"Goodnight, Clare."

"Goodnight."

He takes his leave too, shutting the door quietly behind him.

I can feel the exhaustion creeping over me, making it hard for me to think of anything else but sleep. I toss my backpack in a corner, switching off the light and dropping into bed next to Santa. Sleep comes quickly, and my dreams are a chaotic mess. Mom's face. Loud, angry tears. Josh's touch, warm and assuring.

The next morning, I call up Alex.

"Clare!" she sounds relieved to hear from me. "Where have you been?"

"Sorry, Alex. I was out of town for a couple of days."

"Did something happen?"

"I .... " I bite my lip, hesitating. For years, I've kept Alex in the dark. What if if I were to tell her everything? Every story, every secret of the Conroys? With the way things are going, I'm not sure how long I can continue to keep up the charade. Everything is cracking and coming apart no matter how I try to keep them together, as futile as trying to clutch sand with my fingers.

"Alex, do you think I could stay over at your house for a couple of days?"

"For real this time, huh?"

I frown, not understanding. "What?"

"That's what your brothers told me when I called. They didn't recognize me and they said 'Clare's sleeping over at her friend Alex's house'. Don't you think I would've freaked out?"

"Oh." Actually, I never expected her to think too much about me not showing up at school. I figured she'd have been too busy with Adam and her own life to worry too much about it. "Look, I'll explain everything, OK? But it's a long story, and I don't want to talk about it over the phone."

"OK. If you say so."

"I'll go home with you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Hey, maybe it'll be fun. Our first sleepover in years."

"Yeah. I'll see you, OK?"

"Alright, Clare. See you tomorrow."

At school, I hand the teachers a phony excuse letter to explain my absence from classes. I got Rob to forge Mom's signature - he's the best among us at that, and has the most 'grown-up' handwriting.

The teachers totally buy the lie. It's just too bad I get dumped with a ton of studying and assignments to catch up on.

I get ahold of Sam and Rob at the end of the day, telling them I'm going to be bunking at Alex's for a while. They seem disappointed to hear about it, but don't say anything to stop me. They can understand. I try not to feel bad as I walk off with Alex. I try not to feel as if I'm abandoning my brothers. It'll only be for a few days. Everything will be fine.