Always with You

Chapter 16

Matt

So I went to the book store today. Got back home expecting I don't know but whatever I was expecting I was not expecting this.

My wife; my beautiful, sweet, innocent wife...was currently getting down with the get down along with my mother and my mother in law.

"What in the Halle Berry is going on here?" I mumbled quietly closing the door behind me.

They say that the freakiest of them all were Christians. They're not wrong. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying this right now. I never got to see her like this.

"Come on you got to wiggle and shake. Let me show you first you wiggle or I guess you could say jiggle to you know...make sure you have a little something then you shake,"

My mom then proceeded to do whatever she said that was with her body and I forced myself not to crack up.

"No here let me show you again. So you push your upper extremities out right? and then you— woah there. Hello intruder," Rachel said finally spotting me.

"No no please continue," I said motioning with my hands. "I love a good tutorial. Little did I know I married a freak,"

"This is not what it looks like,"

"What does it look like Rachel?"

"I—well. We were just—"

I waited for her to finish her sentence.

"We were just what love?"

I needed to stop but I was finding this too entertaining to do so.

"You know, stuff"

"So let me get this straight. I willingly show you how much of a freak I am and you," I said pointing to her. "You get all embarrassed and annoyed with your Matthew James thing when you have been a freak all along? Man it's always the one you never expect but I'm not complaining,"

"I'm just gonna go and leave whatever this is between you guys," my mom said.

"I'll go wherever you're going," my mother in law followed up.

Now it was just me and her.  Not wanting to embarrass her any further I smiled.

"I'm kidding babe. You do know that right?"

She smiled. "I know. You just caught me off guard. I was expecting any of the guys to come back for a while,"

"And miss out on this? No never,"

This time I got a full smile. Mission accomplished.

She walked up to me and gave me a kiss.

"One more," I said going in for another one.

"Okay mister, don't get ideas,"

"Too late for that," I said placing the bag of items on the coffee table and taking a seat in the chair. She took a seat on my lap placing her forehead on mine.

"I hope our baby gets your eyes," she said analyzing my face. "Maybe your nose too but then I have a cute nose,"

"You do have a cute nose," I said before giving her nose a quick peck. "I hope our baby gets your personality. Your hair, gosh I really love your hair. My eyes are alright but your eyes are fabulous. I really hope whoever it is whether male or female that it gets your lips. It truly is a blessing to kiss those everyday,"

"You're so cringy," she said scrunching up her nose.

"And you love it,"

"I do,"

"I've been waking up these last couple of nights and you're not in bed with me. You're at a desk with a utensil and a book. What are you writing?"

I knew she was going to find out sooner or later.

"It's a way for me to...relax,"

"So random thoughts?"

"Sometimes. Not always. Sometimes there are battle plans, prayers and requests, things like that,"

"Will you read some to me one day?"

"I'll read some of my old ones if you'd like,"

"I'd love that," she said pausing.

"Can you read one to me...now? It doesn't have to be the whole book maybe just one page?"

This time she got a full smile.

"Come on. It's getting late. I'll read one to you before we gather for dinner. How does that sound?"

She clapped her hands excitedly "Perfect,"

So there we were. On the bed, she tucked under my arms. One of my hands rubbing her tummy and the other holding my first journal.

"They are many people that say they love someone. In fact everyone says I love you to someone before they pass away. Whether it's out of guilt, maybe obligation, maybe because they love what the person can do for them and not the actual person. Either way that's not the way I love. Or should I say not the way I want to love. I've only said I love you to people in my life. My parents. Why? Because I truly do love them. See love is not a feeling. It's an act. If I'm going to love, it's not going to be based on emotions. I'm going to love you inspite of what may happen. Inspite of who you are or who you may become. I'm going to love even if it doesn't feel like you love me back...even if you don't love me back. Love isn't always supposed to feel good. In fact I don't think it will ever only be good. I choose to love not because I want to. Not because the person treats me well or I feel some type of way. Though don't get me wrong those do come into play. But for me I love because I made a commitment to you. In this case, my parents and hopefully one day my better half and our family. Goodnight Matthew. Signing off,"

I flipped the page.

"You know I look at the world today. All the animals that live here, the billions of people that live here, and yet I can't help but feel like it's still empty...."

———————————————————————————Two chapter in one day again. Wow I feel productive.