Always with You

Chapter 7

Matt

It was dark. I sat outside at the darkest hour of the night wondering where have I gone wrong. What did I do to deserve this? What sin have I committed so great that my wife and child have to pay for?

I didn't know whether to pull my hair out or scream until I lost my voice. The rain was falling so hard I was sure that if I stayed out here I was going to get washed away.

Thump thump thump. I go on and on hitting whatever I could with my bat recalling the words doctor Gray said yesterday.

"Right now it's highly dangerous for her to continue with this pregnancy," she said.

"If she continues you guys are continuing knowing that there's a very high chance that you'll lose her in the birthing process but I give you my word that I'll do my best to save the baby,"

I took another hit at the garbage pan on and on over and over getting angrier as yesterday's events replay in my head for what seems a thousand times.

"It would be in her best interest if you terminate the--"

" I'm not killing our baby, " Rachel finally said breaking her silence. I couldn't even look at her. I couldn't bear to glance in her direction. It felt like someone's hand clawed its way into my heart, took it, and threw it into a meat processer and I could feel every second of pain. For goodness sake, I couldn't even hold her hand fearing I would hurt her.

"Mrs. Mconner I understand that-"

"I said I. Am. Not. Killing. Our. Baby, " she said again this time there was no doubt she was silently sobbing and I still couldn't even look at her. My heart hurt. It hurt so bad I didn't know if I was dying myself. "Promise Linda, " she said her voice determined.

"Promise me that no matter what no matter the pain I may be in or how I may look. No. Matter. What. You'll deliver this baby. You'll take care of it and put it before me. Promise me you'll save our baby, "

That's all it took. My head snapped in her direction. My mouth opens and closes as I try to find the words I want to say. This time she couldn't look at me. I look at Doctor Gray hoping and praying that this was some sort of prank or a mistake. Pleading with God to have mercy on us.

He didn't.

It was all real. The drive home was the worst drive I've ever experienced in my entire life. It was so quiet you could probably hear a fruit fly flying around.

"Matt I -"

"Don't even try it with me, " I said my voice laced with anger.

"Don't feed me the same sh^t you fed you her, " I said my hands gripping the wheel.

This time she flinched. I have never cursed since the day I met her and realized how much she hated it and how much God didn't like it either but I was too blinded my hurt, anger, pain, and whatever else my mind was trying to process to even care then.

I snap back to reality. The thunder and lightning was going crazy as I stood in my backyard looking like an idiot.

Finally losing it I screamed as loud as I could. Not so people could hear me but so that He could hear me out and clear and I knew he could.

"What did I do to deserve this?" I asked looking around as if He'd show up and talk to me. Was He even listening? For goodness sake Matt there are people dying right this second you ungrateful moron. But I couldn't keep the anger in anymore.

"Ahhhh I hate--!!!" I screamed throwing myself to the ground letting the water overtake me. Knowing that I couldn't say that last word that would have completed my sentence.

You

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Welp now you guys know why this chapter took so long to come out. I couldn't write it. This was hard and it will only get harder but the good thing is the worst part is over with...I think. I don't know how I'm gonna end this story so the ending will be a surprise to both of us. We'll see what I'm feeling at the moment. Shout out to @Melidan2006 your comments got me cracking up! Anyways guys I'm gonna try to upload a chapter every day cause I know how much you guys wanna know what's gonna happen. I would too. So I'll see y'all tomorrow.