In Your Eyes [TWD]

°•three•°

The tents that were once outside weren't lucky like the house was. In fact, most were gone or at the most, materials of what they once were littered the ground.

Much like the barn that was burned to the ground as well as the framing of what used to be Dale's RV.

"Hey," I softly call to Carl as I stand among the broken wood and burned ground.

He doesn't look, still staring to the ground around the barn.

"Carl," I try again, climbing over the debris to get to him.

As I grab his arm, he jumps and finally takes notice of me.

"What is it?" I ask gently, smoothing my hand down his arm to grab his hand.

He takes a deep breath, squeezing my hand tightly.

"We uh.. my dad and I.." he nods, "We did this."

The chips of wood crunch under my shoes as I look back to the mess.

"The night it happened. He said it would distract them from the house. He poured the gasoline and I dropped the lighter," he explains.

Without a word, I reach up to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his shoulders. He responds quickly, placing his arms around my waist.

I was waiting for a moment like this, to be fair.

I was holding my composure better than I could've imagined. I was more so happy that we were back here where so much started. I felt closer to who I used to be. Closer to Glenn, Hershel, Beth.. Sure, the memories were bitter sweet, but I was thankful to feel so connected to them again after so long. 

But, for Carl, this was a place he lost most of his innocence. He was shot and brought here, then he began training, the Dale situation, and he began to saw a glimmer of who Shane really was. And here, at the barn he and Rick burned down, his first time stuck in such a massive herd, his composure began to break.

"This place would've been worse off if not for it," I remind.

"Maybe there would've been more," I say, leaning my top half back to look at him.

His face was stoic, but a sad look in his eye.

"Maybe you two doing that back then saved us here today," I offer, caressing his cheek.

Slowly, he begins to nod.

"Yeah," he breathes out.

Mustering up a smile, I tug his hand, pulling him away from the broken memory.

--

"How'd you do it?" Carl asks softly, tearing the blade of grass between his fingers.

"Which time?" I ask.

He scoffs, putting his head down. Nudging my arm, he scolds-

"Not funny."

"Not funny. Just reality," I shrug.

After a few seconds of silence, he drops the blade of grass and reaches for another. 

"Either," he answers, "Both."

"I'm not sure I'm over Glenn. There's a reason I'm here and not back there," I frown.

Carl doesn't say anything, but nods to show he understood.

"Shane.. I just had to remember what he became. This world.. it's not meant for everyone. He was ahead of everyone on tough decisions, but not on how he followed through with most of them," I explain.