Here

I'll Be Here

"Hmm... Let me look for something else." His hand works on the keyboard again. "What about law? You're-" she immediately shakes her head again and he turns his attention back on the screen. "Engineering?" She shakes her head again.

He sighs almost giving up on helping his girlfriend. He then realizes that it's hard because he keeps on trying to find majors or career paths that will suit her according to her intelligence instead of according to her passion. The thing is Haewon doesn't really know her own passion because she loves every subject she learns at school.

"Aha!" He snaps his finger surprising his girlfriend. "Books!"

"Ye?" Haewon slowly sits up and gives her boyfriend a questioning look.

"You love books! You love reading!" He looks at her with a glint of excitement in his eyes.

"So?" She raises an eyebrow still not understanding where he's going.

"Well... How about literature or maybe creative writing?"

Haewon knits her eyebrows in thought. "Actually, I did consider them, but...wouldn't those career paths be difficult. I mean it won't be easy to be successful in those careers. You know...low pay."

Chanyeol looks at her with his gentle gaze and smiles. "Success shouldn't be about gaining attention or having material contentment. It should be about being able to do what you love! Shouldn't it?"

Haewon stares at him in thought. She then turns away and sighs, "You're right! And I do love reading and writing." She smiles looking at him.

"Great!" He clasps his hands before those hands busily works on the keyboard again. "Now I'll help you find a good university for those majors."

Haewon smiles widely seeing how he is more excited than she is. But the mention of university slowly wipes away her smile as she is reminded by his own choice of university.

"W-what about you?" She asks hesitantly.

"Hmm?" He asks back with eyes still glued on the screen of his laptop.

Haewon gulps a lump in her throat before continuing, "Ha-have you...found any good university?"

Chanyeol's hands are suddenly frozen hearing the question. His fingers slowly curl away from the keyboard. He even holds his breath as his eyes unblinking never leaves the screen.

"Here! I've cut some fruits for both of you." Haewon's mom suddenly comes to the living room bringing a plate full of fruits.

"Ah! Thank you, eomonim!" Chanyeol bows his head while Haewon only gives her mom a smile.

"Okay! I'll go back to the kitchen. Eat the fruits, okay?" Her mom turns around and walks back to the kitchen.

Once her mom leaves, Chanyeol immediately busies himself with the laptop hoping Haewon won't ask again. He's not ready to tell her yet. But Haewon does remember her question and she notices his attempt to not talk about it.

"Yeol," she sighs, "you haven't answered my ques-"

"Hey! What about this university?" Chanyeol points at the screen and grins at her while pulling her arm so that she leans closer. "I think this one is good! Or maybe this one! Let me check the date they open for the admission," he talks fast not giving her a chance to interfere. Haewon only observes him and frowns. She wants to wait for him to tell her himself, but it's been too long that she feels she's not part of his future.

"Oh! Here's the application form. Let's print it and-"

"Why didn't you ever tell me about taking composition and music production?" She asks him softly cutting his sentence. Chanyeol slowly turns his head to look at her. He immediately feels guilty when he sees how composed she is, but there's an evident disappointment on her face. "You told Bokyung about it proudly, but you never even told me once!" She continues.

So that's what bothered her earlier.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Am I not important enough in your life to know about your future plans?" She asks him in a composed tone, but he can see that her eyes are somewhat moist with tears that start gathering in her eyes.

"What? Of course you are important!" He scoots closer to her and puts an arm around her shoulders while his other hand caress her cheek. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. It's just that... I was trying not to worry about it for awhile. Thinking about college really makes me dizzy," he chuckles a bit.

"So...when are you going to tell me about your application for that university abroad?" The upward curl on his lips suddenly turns into a straight line. His lips parted, his eyes widen a bit, and his hand stop from caressing her cheek.

"You-you knew?" He stutters as his hand slides down from her cheek.

"I...I saw the envelope a-and Mr. Choi told me about it," she looks away. "Are...are you really going?" She asks looking straight into his eyes feeling it hard to breathe.

Chanyeol doesn't know what to answer. They only look at each other in the eyes as if they are conversing through them.

"Don't worry," he finally opens his mouth. "I'm not going to leave you again. Actually, I didn't tell you because I'm now looking for a university here."

"You're not going?" She asks stunned. He shakes his head weakly and gives her a smile. Haewon snakes her arms around his waist and rest her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry I didn't share it with you sooner." He wraps her body with one arm while his other hand caresses the side of her face. He looks down at the top of her head and kisses it that his nose touches her hair letting him breathe in the scent of her shampoo. "And don't ever think you're not important in my life because you are important to me."

"Stop cuddling you two!" A giggle makes them pull away from the hug. Mom comes again with two glasses of fresh juices.

"As always...," they both whisper as they clear their throat awkwardly.

---------------
That night, she thought she would sleep peacefully knowing that her worst fear of parting with him is groundless. But, she can't. She keeps on tossing and turning on her bed. She pulls the blanket over her face completely covering her from head to toe, hoping that it will help her sleep. But a few seconds later, she groans and uncovers her face. She huffs and stares blankly at the ceiling in the dark.

Shouldn't I be happy? But why aren't I?