#Warning: Mature Content
The Artist:
I wish I could be enough to make you happy…if only I could make you feel my love every single way…tell you to just place your heart over mine and we’ll be okay…
I feel his fingers nimbly trying to unbutton my shirt as little whines leave his mouth. He seems to get really troubled at times these days and I can’t help but feel that he probably isn’t sure about the baby or about living with me. It’s the reason I have been trying to give him enough space to be comfortable here, I haven’t even initiated anything in bed fearing how he might react. I am fine with it though, all I needed was to let him know that although our lives have changed, we can make it better…at our own pace.
I am ready to be the man you deserve but what I am not ready is to let you think that you are a burden to me…the real burden would be to endure what I went through without you…
“Let’s eat first baby…” I spoke clasping at his hands and pulling them to my mouth as I peck at his knuckles, intending to stop him. I have a been sensing a certain restlessness in him, the agitation you feel when you try to fill your heart with anything just because it feels too empty and you don’t have it in you to deal with it all by yourself.
He denies to listen, kissing my neck instead as his breath shuddered against my skin.
“Jin-” “Yeah okay…” he mumbles, mouth brushing against my neck “let’s eat.”
I don’t intend to make him feel held down…he says he wants to stay with me but he seems so troubled. I know a lot of his perturbations are from his regrets and his troublesome relationship with his ex but what I fear most is him waking up one day and deciding it’s not worth it and taking a flight halfway across the world to get away from me.
I probably won’t have the guts to chase him a second time…
“You are quiet” he asks as we eat and I break out of my reverie to look at him watching me as he chewed on a piece of chicken “what are you thinking about?”
I smile to myself a little before changing the topic “I was thinking about bringing home the stuff I stacked in the art room in the university”
I see him paling a bit “here? More?” He sceptically watches around “well I guess we could clear out this space then although not much is possible to clear with the piano in the middle, we’ll have to push the couch against the wall then I guess we could manage…”
He sounds really distressed and I agree it’s gonna be troublesome but it’s just for a few more months. We’ll have to shift anyway when the baby comes, I'm already trying to save up for the new addition and all the stuff we'd have to change for him, it’s tough but I’m working on it.
Jimin has been calling me, telling me that many admirers of my art have been asking him about me, hoping for me to come back. It is understandable, I have spent years there, had my art displayed in exhibitions and naturally earned my name among many. Things like that are difficult to build in a short time in a new city…although it was the little fame that I had earned which helped me to get the job at the university.
It takes time and perseverance to build certain things...
“It’s fine…we’ll just have to get around it for a while” I assure him as we finish dinner and lean to clasp at his hand as I see his eyes growing troubled again “trust me on this”.
He looks up at me and I trace an utter helplessness in his eyes and I know what he’s about to say “we’ll get through this baby” I kiss his temple “the real challenge is to hold ourselves strong through it, and not let the troubles get the best of us.”
YOU ARE READING
The Art of Dreaming || TaeJin
Fanfiction"The damage was done the moment our eyes met" The story of an artist whose search for his lost inspiration leads him to meet the waking dream he had wished upon all his life. Or is it the story of a dreamer whose need to break away from a suffocatin...
