WAITING GAME/KAI PARKER FANFICTION

16: no one told me it hurts

*kai's pov* (this part contains a few flashbacks)

I sat on the ground with Andrea's body in my arms. Everyone turned out okay and they forced me to get up. The car was in pieces, we walked miles to find something.

It was all silent as I carried Andrea's body.
Based on the border that the travelers put, Damon compelled us a house outside of Mystic Falls where we started all over.

I brought Andie's body inside the house because I can get her back, I know I can. Elena hid her from me when we got here because she said it was "unhealthy".

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Its been a few weeks and as of right now, the twins are the only thing that are keeping me going. The stages of grief are normal. Some are worse than others but at the same time, everyone deals with grief differently.There are five stages:

Denial
"Kai please-"
"No! She's not- she's not gone, okay? I can get her back I just need time to find the spell and I can get her back. Wan- Wanda, you can help me, right?"

Anger
"We all lost her, Kai!" Damon said.
"Oh you dont know what I lost!" I yelled. "I lost the love of my life, my wife, the mother of my kids. My soulmate, alright!? You out of everyone can't tell me how to feel or act because you didn't loose what I did!"

Bargaining
"It was my fault. If I just got out of there fast enough she wouldn't have gone in there in the first place. I could've- I could've saved her, Stefan"

Depression
I've laid in bed for two weeks and have done absolutely nothing.
"Kai you have to eat or drink a blood bag, at least sleep for a bit-"
"Caroline, how'd you do it? Deal with all this pain?"
She sighed, "I let people be there for me, and I slowly let myself out" She replied, going over to my curtains and opening them a little bit.
I shook my head,
"I cant- I can't do that" I cried out.

Then there's acceptance, but I'm not quite there yet. Everyone has slowly started helping me, and I let them. I took a shower for the first time in forever.

I ate and spent time with my daughters. The three of us talked and let out a few tears but I assured them that I will be there for them.

The day went by painfully slowly. I didn't want the girls to see me try to find a spell to bring back Andie because I just don't want to put so many things in their minds already.

Elena and Wanda helped me out a bit with them so that I didn't loose it. The worst part is that they look like their mother, every glimpse I catch of them I see Andrea.

When I said that the twins were the only thing keeping me going, I meant they are the only thing that is keeping me from turning of f my humanity.

I cant even imgaine what I would be doing if it weren't for them being here with me.

Before I let dark thoughts get into my mind, I took the girls out a bit to a local park, I just wanted to distract them.

Airis stood my my side the whole time.
"You okay?" I asked, rubbing her head.
"I just miss mommy already" I sighed.
"I know, I miss her a lot too. But I promise you, we wil get her back. And then we can do whatever we want, together, as a family"

I sent her off to play with her sister.

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After maybe an hour, the three of us went home and then I made them dinner. All of us cuddled with them a little longer and played some games.

I tried my best to not let any tears slip out throughout the day but as soon as they went to bed, I gathered everything I could to find a spell. I desperately looked through grimores and other things looking for it.

Wanda helped me for a bit but she headed up to bed aswell. Everything I tried doing was impossible. I yell out of frustration and rest my hands on my head.

I stood there as tears slipped out of my eyes, running down my cheeks. The thought of her being gone for good was too much.

Before I know it, I wiped everything off the table. I didn't care if it broke or spilled-whatever. I just need to let it go.

It felt like the room was closing in on me. I backed into the wall, letting myself slide down it, sobbing. The heavy breath's exiting my mouth as I grasped for anything to help me calm down.

Damon and Elena rushed in but I sped out before they got to me. I went into my room and walked to the bathroom and turned on the sink, splashing cold water on my face.

As soon as I did calm down, I tried to think of anyway that I could get revenge on the travelers or just take down the border.

Then it clicked. I can't siphon it myself because I'm a vampire, I'll soon start to deteriorate while I try to take it down. I can't have Adira do it, she's too young to take in that much magic. Then there's one siphon left,

Brandon.

a/n: hey guys! i hope you enjoyed this chapter. We see how Kai has been feeling and coping. he also realised the one option he has to be able to defeat the travelers. will he call brandon? will any feelings resurface? let me know how we feel about this. again, this story/sequel is coming to an end so just keep an eye out for next update; thanks, bye!💓