𝐓𝐎𝐗𝐈𝐂 T. Kuroo

Chapter thirty seven

you stare at the rolled up blunt on your dresser along with the lighter that you had been flicking between your fingers.

after a while of waiting, you finnaly decided to smoke one of them. it made you feel relaxed but your thoughts stil drifted to other things.

you groan before standing up and putting the lighter on your dresser.

slowly opening your door, you go out into the hallway and sneak past your mom's room before going down the steps and into the kitchen.

rummaging through the cabinets, you grab one of your dad's bottles of alcohol.

you run back upstairs and close your room door before fumbling with the cork in the glass bottle trying to get it open.

you stare at it in your hands for a few seconds before feeling your gaze drop. You shrug before putting the cool glass to your lips before tilting the bottle back and letting the bitter liquid run down your throat.

Your lips press into a thin line as you run your tongue across them. You do the same thing over and over again before feeling yourself loosen up.

Sitting the bottle down on your dresser, you flip back on your bed before sighing. You lay in a starfish position with your eyes half lidded and your shirt a little damp from some of the alcohol that ran down your chin.

You stared at the fan as it spun before biting on your lip a little. Your mind felt blank, practically stress free.

Your lips pulled into a smile as you started to hum one of your favorite songs. You quickly sit up before patting around your bed for your phone then putting on the song.

Your motions felt blurred as you stood up, stumbling over your footing before grabbing ahold of your dresser to stand up straight.

You grab your phone before wondering over to your closet and grabbing a set of pajamas. Heading into the bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror before shifting your gaze as the picture tumor and Kuroo took months ago flickered through your head.

Turning on your phone you start to play music trying to ignore the headache that was starting to set in.

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Your eyes drop to the floor as you struggled to get undressed before turning on the shower and getting in with wobbly feet. You wince as the hot water bit your skin before eventually getting used to it and starting to scrub your skin.

"But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating when he calls me pretty I feel like somebody even when we fade eventually you will always be my favorite form of loving." Your voice crumbled over the lyrics as the hot water ran down your skin.

You rub your eyes as a few tears fall down your cheek. You couldn't tell if you were crying or if it was water, but as your knees buckled and you slid down the tile wall, you let loose a sob as your head dropped into your knees.

Water soaked your hair as you clenched your eyes shut, not caring about the fact that you were running the water bill up or that the water was gonna start to get cold soon.

Your cries were muffled under the water and music as present indents pressed into your legs from you hugging your knees and grabbing at the sides of your thighs.