Everything I'm supposed to hate • Harry J. Potter •

28

"What are you doing?" Harry whispered.

"You want me to stop?" You replied, preparing to feel shame burn in your stomach again.

"No, Merlin no,"

Your lips curved into a soft smile against Harry's skin. You felt yourself beginning to gain your usual confidence again.

"You've never had anybody do this to you?"

"No.."

Your kisses traveled to just below his ear as your hand slipped under his shirt. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," Harry breathed. His abdominal muscles were tense beneath your fingertips.

"Relax," you whispered, moving down to the crook of his neck.

"Sorry," Harry murmured, but you could still feel the tension in his body.

Frowning, you pulled away and cupped his jaw in one hand. "What's wrong?"

Harry stared into your eyes and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing noticeably. "Nothing, I'm fine. This is fi--this is brilliant."

"You don't feel fine," you observed. "You're all tensed up. If you want me to stop, I will. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No!" Harry exclaimed loudly. You cringed and prayed nobody had heard. "Sorry--no, that's not what I want... I'm just, I dunno, nervous, I guess. It's lame, I know, I'm sorry."

You pulled Harry's face toward yours with your hand still cupping his jaw for a short kiss.

You kept your lips brushing together and told him, "It's not lame, Harry, it's normal. I understand being nervous. I'm nervous right now, too."

"You don't seem like it," Harry mumbled. His soft lips tickled your own.

"Because being with you, even just looking at you, it gives me this feeling of calm. Like the world could be crumbling around me, but as long as you're there I'm at peace."

"How do you do that?"

"Uh..do what..?"

Harry pulled back from your lips a few inches and studied your face. "Know how to say exactly how you feel and make it sound so pretty at the same time?"

You laughed a little. "I s'pose you could say you're my muse."

Harry smiled at your comment, but he had a wistful look in his eye. "I wish I could say exactly how I feel like that."

"Why can't you?"

"I dunno. I've never been very good with... touchy-feely stuff."

"Understanding emotions is hard," you nodded.

"How do you do it then?"

You snorted a bit. "Tonight's the first time I think I've ever been able to really understand how I feel. I'm certainly no expert on matters of the heart."

"Oh come on," Harry pleaded. "Don't hold out on me!"

You sighed in defeat. "Alright, alright, I'll try."

And suddenly, Harry's arms were wrapped around your waist, pulling you onto his outstretched legs. You sat straddling his hips, the cold floor against your bare shins. Harry's arms stayed securely around you, his hands resting on your lower back. You decided to wrap your own arms around Harry's neck, fingers slipping their way into his hair for the third time that night. You scratched his scalp lightly as you began talking.

"Okay, let's start easy: how does Ron make you feel?"

"Good, I guess, happy," Harry mumbled, looking anywhere but you.

"You've been best friends with him for 6 years and all he gets is 'good'?" You chuckled.

Harry huffed. "Alright, alright. Erm... well he makes me laugh a lot. And he always knows how to cheer me up or when I need to be alone and stuff. He stuck up for me last year, too. You know, when everybody was calling me a liar."

You nodded and brushed Harry's cheek with your free hand sympathetically. "So what does that mean to you?"

Harry cleared his throat and looked at the floor. "He's like... he's like my brother, I think. And I don't think I'd know what to do without him. Fourth year was hard when he was mad at me for a while."

"See?" You smiled. "Look at that."

Harry shrugged. "I already knew how I felt about Ron, though."

You pursed your lips in thought, mindlessly twisting a lock of Harry's hair around your pointer finger.

"What about cho?"

Harry looked startled. "What?"

"How does Cho make you feel? Or how did she make you feel?"

Harry shifted around, looking uncomfortable. "Y/n, I don't know if talking about another girl is the best idea..."

"Oh please, Harry," you scoffed. "I think I can handle the knowledge you've had feelings for other girls before."