The neighbor

15

They spent most of Saturday making out and helping each other get off, when Darcy was asleep. He was turning into some sort of sex maniac and they still kept it innocent. It surprised him. He and Olivia obviously had a sex life together. More in their early years but it became a once-in-a-month kind of thing as soon as the kids were born, and he had been fine with that. He never had the opportunity to explore this side of himself and it was new and exciting and made him curious for more. Being intimate with a man was different. Harry was really good with his hands for starters. It was a whole other experience to feel his big palms running over his body and he really knew what he was doing when he helped him get off. He wondered what it would feel like if Harry blew him? They hadn't gone that far yet because he was nervous about sucking dick himself. What if he was really bad at it? Harry was really big. How was he supposed to fit that in his mouth without choking or puking?

He had decided to drive to Doncaster to pick up the kids and he was going alone, for several reasons. He and Harry weren't officially a couple. His family, except Lottie, didn't know that he wasn't straight and he couldn't just show up with a non-boyfriend. It was too early. He had to figure this out by himself first, taking it step by step. It was a bit scary to fall in love again even if he knew deep down that he was heading in that direction. He also needed to visit Olivia's grave to have a talk and he needed to be alone for that. It was private.

Harry seemed to understand, without an explanation. He didn't ask if he could tag along. He just said that he would miss him and that they would see each other later.

He went directly after breakfast and stole a kiss from Harry before he walked out the door. They had an amazing long weekend together where they could mainly focus on each other even if they took care of Darcy as well. On Monday they were back to their old (but fairly new) routines when his kids were back home.

He spent the four-hour drive singing along to the radio. He stopped at a flower shop as soon as he reached his hometown. He drove past his old house first and stopped the car on the side of the road. They had lived ten years together in that house. He just sat and stared at it, waiting for his emotions to catch up, but instead, he just smiled, while all the good memories washed over him. They had some great times in that house, him, Olivia, and the kids. He felt relieved that the house didn't make him feel bad anymore.

His next stop was the cemetery. He brought the flowers to Olivia's grave and laid them by the headstone. The grave was taken care of. There were flowers planted by the headstone. He had to thank his sisters for maintaining it. He stared at the stone and sighed. He felt stupid for talking to it but it was something he needed to do.
"Hi love. I'm sorry I haven't been around. I miss you."

He took a deep breath and scratched his cheek before he continued.
"The kids are doing fine. They miss you too. I just want you to know that they're okay. I'm doing my best taking care of them. I don't think I thanked you enough for everything you did for our family. You were such an amazing mum."

He was getting a little teary-eyed and needed to collect his thoughts.
"I met someone. His name is Harry and he's such a wonderful person. I don't think I ever told you that I'm not straight. I never saw the point in telling you because I chose you, you know? It wasn't a secret or anything. God, now I'm rambling. Anyhow. Harry. He makes me feel alive again. He makes me laugh again. I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with him. I'm moving on. That doesn't mean that I don't love you, a part of me always will. You gave me three wonderful children and they're so great Olivia. Thanks to you. You will always be their mum and I promise you that we're gonna talk about you and remember you, because I can do that now. At least you don't have to worry about being replaced as a mum." He chuckled at the last part before he continued.

"I mean, Harry is such a mummy, oh for fucks sake, now I'm rambling again, sorry. You and I fell into a stereotypical relationship where I worked and you took care of our home. I hope you didn't resent that. I don't think you did. We had a great life together and it's a part of me but I'm gonna let you go now. I can't spend the rest of my life being stuck in the past. I know you wouldn't want me to. I know you want me to be happy and I'm getting there. Harry is incredible with our kids and they really like him. You raised them well. They're so accepting of the thought of me having a boyfriend in the future. You should be proud of them. I sure am."

He stopped talking and looked down at his wedding ring.
"I'm taking this off now but please know that you'll always be a part of our lives. I love you. Goodbye." He removed the ring and put it in his pocket before he turned around and walked to another headstone, his mother's.

"Hi mum, I miss you. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm okay now. Love you."

He went back to the car and cried a little before he drove to his old family home to see his siblings and his kids.